


Anything But Ordinary

by DiamantNoir



Series: Powers That Be [6]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Superheroes/Superpowers, Asexual Character, Best Friends, Breaking and Entering, Bullying, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Happy Ending, Jisung is a confused boy, M/M, Slice of Life, Superpowers, blood but it's super minor, hints at Markhyuck, internal struggles
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-26
Updated: 2020-08-26
Packaged: 2021-03-06 20:26:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 38,749
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26114893
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DiamantNoir/pseuds/DiamantNoir
Summary: Superpowers run the world, but it's only fun when you have one.Born into a family where only one person in several generations has had a power, Jisung knows he shouldn't have high hopes for his sixteenth year—the year that will either finally give him that ability he's always wanted or will show him just how powerless he'll be for the rest of his life. While struggling to come to terms with that very small possibility, as well as his sexuality, or lack there of, Jisung discovers just how terrifying growing up can be.Luckily, he's got his best friend, who's not willing to let him go through it alone.
Relationships: Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul | Ten/Wong Kun Hang | Hendery, Dong Si Cheng | WinWin/Nakamoto Yuta, Jung Yoonoh | Jaehyun/Lee Taeyong, Kim Jungwoo/Wong Yuk Hei | Lucas, Lee Jeno/Na Jaemin, Minor or Background Relationship(s), Park Jisung/Zhong Chen Le
Series: Powers That Be [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1730035
Comments: 25
Kudos: 167





	Anything But Ordinary

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! I'm back!  
> Okay, this is Part Six of the Powers That Be series. You don't NEED to read the others, but this part will make references to things that have happened in all the other parts on occasion, so it might be nice to read them? Plus, it gives you more insight to the world itself.  
> Also, I've brought in four idols from Jisung's birth year (there really isn't that large of a selection). Three of them are boys from E'Last. I know they're the sweetest beans in real life, but in this they are most definitely bullies. I just didn't have a lot of choice and it felt weird adding original characters at this point. I'm sorry Wonhyuk, Wonjun, and Yejun!  
> Well, this is it. The second last part. Wow, I can't believe I've actually gotten this far and haven't given up yet haha  
> I hope you all enjoy!

Jisung knows that superpowers run the world.

Ninety percent of the population possesses some kind of ability; from creating bubbles to teleporting to controlling an element. The old man down the street? He can levitate. That woman’s twin, teenaged daughters? They can speed up and slow down time.

Everyone waits to see what a newly turned sixteen-year-old will get. It’s an anxious and amazing time of someone’s life. That sixteenth year defines you. Sure, there are the lucky ones, the rarities, that get powers before their sixteenth birthday’s, but they’re just that. Rare. Jisung only knows a handful. His best friend being one of them. Regardless, turning sixteen is something every child anticipates no matter who you are because something wonderful can happen. But only if you’re lucky.

Because, unfortunately, that the other ten percent of the population falls under one category: Negate. The unlucky few that have never and will never gain a power, either because of genetics or some random fluke in the universe. And if having a power made the hierarchy, well, that meant that having none didn’t even get you on the list.

Jisung was born into a Negate family. The last person who had a power in his family was his great-great Grandfather and no one even remembers what it was. There’s a significantly high chance that Jisung will never get a power and it’s frustrating and irritating and soul-crushing.

He wants to be like everyone else, like his friends, and he’s got a sinking feeling that, when he turns sixteen, nothing will happen. And, sure, his friends won’t care. They would never toss him out of their circle because of that, but life? Life will be hard. Negates aren’t always treated with respect. They’re looked down on, berated, taunted. Jisung’s known this his whole life. And, well, being in high school has only made it just that more apparent.

High school isn’t about looks or smarts, it’s about abilities. The more unique, powerful, and rare the power is, the more likely the student will be popular. Kids are cruel and they don’t hold back, especially with those who come from Negate families.

Jisung’s been at the brunt of a lot of jokes. He’s been chased, pranked, even shoved around since he was a child ever since it became known that his mother was tattooed and so was his grandmother—the only two people he lives with. At first, he hadn’t understood. Then, slowly, his mom had to break the news, shatter the picture-perfect world Jisung had been living in, just to tell him that he might not be like all the other kids and that things…Well, things weren’t going to be easy if that came to be.

The thing is, even if he knows his chances are slim, he has hope. Hope that, one day, between his sixteenth birthday and his seventeenth, he’ll wake up and suddenly have an ability. He wants to join his friends, be like them. Some days he really believes it’s a possibility. And then there are the harder days, the ones that make him question the probability of it all. The days he’s surrounded by abilities.

Like today, where everyone around him has a power except him.

Granted, he’s the youngest in view and it does, technically, make sense. His sixteenth birthday isn’t for another month, so he really shouldn’t be worried about it. But when there’s a part of about fifty people around him—people who occasionally turn invisible or speed from one room to the other or create aurora borealis illusions across the ceiling—Jisung aches for a way to join in.

Instead, he sits on the sidelines, watching the dance floor and the clusters of people around it. Music beats off the walls of the ballroom-like space. Jaehyun’s parents were what Taeyong liked to describe as ‘secret money’. They lived in a cozy, colonial-type home, but when special events happened? They spent every pretty penny they could find.

The space is white and gold. It sparkles in the fairy lights they have strung up, which occasionally change colors because of some handsome man in a silver suit with kohl-lined eyes every time he waves his hand. He’s with a bunch of men Jisung’s never met before. They’re all good-looking with their styled hair and clean-cut suits, but there’s something about them that makes Jisung wonder exactly who they are. Especially one of them, a blond with a tongue piercing and tattoos that peek out from his collar, who chatted up Taeyong for a long while. Jisung thinks they might be old friends. They have to be with the way Taeyong greets them all happily and hugs each and every one of them with a broad grin.

Speaking of Taeyong, he’s wandering through the crowd, talking to each person as he goes. He’s a vision is white, which sets off his startling red hair like a beacon. Jisung’s learned that the only reason he’s dyed it that color again is because of Jaehyun. Apparently, his newly-wedded husband can’t get enough of it. Jisung has to admit, it looks really good.

He’s never been one to color his hair. That was more of Taeyong’s thing. Then Donghyuck’s. Then Chenle’s. And poor Jaemin, who got stuck with pink hair a couple of years ago because Donghyuck got his hands on him. One day, he might try it. Maybe. Donghyuck certainly won’t be the one with the dye if he chooses to. As much as he’s trustworthy, he’s also unpredictable.

“Are you going to just sit here all night?” Jaemin asks as he plops himself on the seat next to him. He’s got a flute of sparkling water and Jisung really hopes he hasn’t spiked it. Then again, Taeyong would know if he did and would probably take it away. Jisung doubts Taeyong wants drunk seventeen-year-olds at his wedding reception. “Go dance.”

“I’m not really feeling it,” he admits.

It’s true, he’s really not. Usually he’d be up there, loving the music and the way his body moves to it, but, right now, he just kind of wants to stay hidden. He keeps seeing all the random acts of power using and it’s sort of making him anxious about his future. It’s the worst time to be thinking about it, yet he can’t stop himself.

“You always want to dance.”

“Not tonight.”

Jaemin frowns as he brings the flute to his lips to take a sip. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, really. Where are the others?”

“Well, Chenle was on the dance floor a little while ago.” Jisung knows this. He’s been keeping an eye on his best friend since they arrived at the wedding. He also knows that Chenle left the floor a couple minutes ago to talk to Lucas and Jungwoo by the dessert table. Jaemin points off to the side. “Mark is somewhere over there with Johnny and Donghyuck. Renjun disappeared. I think he went to the bathroom. And Jeno—is right there. Hello, handsome.”

Jisung holds back a gag when Jeno joins them at the table, leaning down to kiss Jaemin. It appears to be an innocent one until Jaemin decides that’s not enough and grabs Jeno by the nape of the neck to bring him down once again for something a little too risqué for a crowded place. Jaemin, of course, hardly cares. He doesn’t mind who’s around. He just wants to love Jeno as much as he possibly can, whenever he can, after years of pining. Almost two years later and they’re still in the honeymoon stage.

“Oh, quiet,” Jaemin says with a roll of his eyes when he finally lets go of a very flushed Jeno. “If you ever get a partner, I’ll bet you’d want to make out with them, too.”

Jisung tries to ignore the way his stomach churns at the thought. Rubbing at his arm, he mutters, “Doubtful.”

“You’re looking pale,” notes Jeno. “You feeling all right?”

Nodding, Jisung reaches out for his water. The ice hasn’t fully melted yet, thankfully. It’s cold on his tongue, welcoming in a place like this where the body count ups the heat an insurmountable amount. And in a tuxedo, Jisung feels suffocated. He wants out of the blazer, out of the trousers. He wants his baggy t-shirts and jogging pants. Especially the gray ones that Chenle got him last year because they’re the best quality he’s ever owned in his life. It’s like wrapping his legs with clouds.

“Why are you all looking like a bunch of losers?”

Jisung glances up to find Donghyuck meandering his way over. It’s sort of an odd thing, to see Donghyuck in a tux. Everyone in their group, including Jisung, could sort of be expected to wear a suit and look good in it. To look natural in it. Jaemin and Jeno have always been on the proper side. Chenle practically grew up in them because of his family. And Mark, well, Mark is older so it just doesn’t seem that strange. Donghyuck, on the other hand, is a human conundrum personified.

He’s all danger and rebellion and t-shirts and jeans. He doesn’t tend to dress up, though he’s known for having style—he’s made over Jaemin enough times to prove that he can—but he tends to keep things simple. Jisung’s never really thought about Donghyuck in a tuxedo and now that he sees it, he’s not sure how he feels about it. It’s weird, sure, but Donghyuck somehow still looks quite at home in it.

Shoving his hands into his pockets, Donghyuck stands on the opposite side of the table. It’s the first time in years that Jisung’s seen his hair a natural color—a honey sort of brown that’s flipped up off of his forehead. The only person in their group with dyed hair right now is Chenle, with bright, neon orange hair that can be spotted from blocks away. It helps Jisung keep an eye on him.

Normally, people wouldn’t put much stalk into hair colors, but Jisung and his friends do. They knew the moment Donghyuck showed up at Jaemin’s house a couple months ago with the color stripped from his hair, that something was wrong. Of course, Donghyuck refuses to acknowledge it. He acts like he has no idea what they’re talking about. It’s irksome.

“Does it make you a loser, now that you’ve joined us?” Jeno asks, pulling out the chair beside Jaemin to sit down and wrap his arms around his boyfriend.

Donghyuck lets out a mocking laugh. “Are you just going to hang out here for the rest of the night?”

“I just wanted to get a drink before I hit the floor again. I just have to convince Jeno to join me,” Jaemin says.

Jeno shakes his head with a fond smile. “You don’t have to convince me that much.”

Donghyuck raises a brow. “You make me want to vomit.”

“Oh, go find Mark and bug him,” says Jeno and Donghyuck flashes him the middle finger. “We can’t help it if you’re envious.”

“Envious over what? The disgustingly sweet gush that you guys keep tossing at each other? Ah, yes, I’m deeply hurt that I have no one to do that with,” Donghyuck replies, tone dripping with sarcasm.

“The first step is admission,” Jaemin puts in with a raise of his glass. “Come on, Hyuck. Sit down for a bit. You’ve been wandering for a while now.”

For once, Donghyuck listens and does as he’s told. It isn’t until he’s in the chair, posture deflating, that Jisung notes how tired he looks, how his cheeks are missing the usual glow he has. He grabs one of the glasses on the table and fills it with water from the pitcher.

EDM music filters through the speakers and someone on the other side of the room whoops. Laughter mixes into the rhythm. Jisung thinks he’s missed something, but he doesn’t care enough to figure it out. It’s getting late and he’s wondering if maybe he should think about heading home soon.

Most of the people in the room are tipsy, or drunk, or just high from adrenaline. They watch as the dance floor gets suddenly so crowded that telling one body from another is nearly impossible. That is, until a head of orange hair catches his attention. Chenle’s jumping, swinging himself around amongst the guests with a bright smile on his face. He looks so at home. With orange locks plastered to his forehead and skin glistening with a thin layer of sweat, he looks strangely beautiful.

Jisung tears his eyes away to look at his half-empty glass.

They’re still silent, listening to the music, when Renjun and Mark join them. Mark chooses the seat closest to Jisung and Jisung catches the way Donghyuck’s eyes flick to Mark’s seat and the distance between them. Mark doesn’t seem to notice.

Renjun puts himself between them without a second guess. “Are we all crashing for the night?”

“Just taking a break,” Jaemin says. “Have you danced yet?”

“Chenle dragged me out once until I could escape,” says Renjun. He looks to Jisung. “I’m surprised you’re not out there with him.”

“I think he’s making it a goal to dance with every person in the room tonight. I think I saw him with Jaehyun’s mom earlier,” he replies. He tries to act nonchalant about it, but Renjun’s words hit him in the heart a little. Like a nudge. Chenle separated from him the moment they stepped through the doors and hasn’t yet come back. The reminder does weird things to his insides.

Jaemin leans over the table and asks, “Who are you texting, Mark? You’ve been glued to your phone practically since you got here. And we all know your friends are here.”

Eyes wide, Mark glances up from his phone, something he had placed low in his lap as if he were trying to be inconspicuous. They all know Mark can’t hide anything, so Jisung wonders why he even tries.

Clearing his throat and pocketing his phone, he says, “No one. Just a friend from orientation.”

From across the table, Donghyuck frowns. He gives Mark a once-over, shifts a bit in his seat, and looks away with his jaw tight. Jisung holds back the sigh that wants to escape him.

He tunes out Jaemin’s questions about said friend because, honestly, Mark isn’t going to give them any more information that’s important. Instead, he falls back into the horrible conclusion that his friends—other than Chenle—won’t be returning with him in the new year.

They all graduated last year and now they’re starting university. They’re going to be adults, all of them turning eighteen, besides Mark who will be nineteen in August, and currently moved into their new apartments. They aren’t high school students anymore. They’re going to get new friends, new experiences Jisung won’t be a part of. It’s one thing that he’s behind on having an ability, but in life itself he’s always been at the very end. Last place.

Even still, he’s been sort of lucky. His friends could have been popular. Mark’s power is unique, Donghyuck’s dangerous, Jaemin’s strong, and Jeno’s a crowd-pleaser. Even Renjun, who’s power is simply to be able to speak and understand all languages, is something people actively seek out. All five of them could have been at the top of the food chain if they so chose to. Fortunately, they liked to be less in the limelight.

“Come dance with me,” Jaemin says as he stands up and holds out his hand for Jeno to take. With a wave, they wander off into the crowd.

The lights of the room have shifted to a pale blue as the music slows. He watches as Jeno pulls Jaemin close and ducks his head down so he can mutter into Jaemin’s ear. Jaemin chuckles and hits him on the arm. Jisung thinks back to when he thought they were just friends with a close admiration. Boy, times have changed. To be fair, the two of them haven’t changed much since becoming boyfriends. Just a lot more kissing that Jisung could do without seeing.

“Mark, get off your phone,” Renjun chastises. Before Mark can do anything, he’s snatches it away and slides the device into the inner pocket of his blazer. “You’ll get it back at the end of the night.”

With that, he’s up and speed-walking away. Mark jumps up in his seat to chase after him. “I’ll be back. Hey—Hey, Renjun! Get back here!”

Jisung and Donghyuck stare as the two of them vanish behind a group of people. Sighing, Donghyuck leans back in his seat, drooping a bit. He really looks exhausted. Jisung would ask, but he knows Donghyuck won’t tell him anything about it. He’s always been the kind to suffer in silence until he can’t anymore. No amount of asking would change that.

So, Jisung asks, “Do you know who he’s talking to?”

Donghyuck’s eyes flash, widening a little before he can school his features into something a little more unobtrusive. “Not really. Some girl. She’s in the same program as him, or something.” His fingers trace along the condensation of his glass. “I’m going to go find Jungwoo. You going to be okay?”

“Yeah,” he says. “Yeah, I’ll be fine.”

“Okay.” Donghyuck stands, rubbing at his thighs. He glances at Jisung, opening his mouth as if he wants to say something, but then he thinks better of it and gives a slight nod before walking away.

It’s moments like this that Jisung wishes they could go back to when he was a kid. When Jungwoo used to come over and babysit him. When Donghyuck would hang out with him, play games with him, and sometimes Mark would come over. He wishes he could be fourteen again, when he and his friends used to break into places and be alive with no issues, no problems, just the love of each other and the rush of being rebellious.

Things seem so much more complicated these days. Jisung hates it. Especially when he knows he’s not helping the situation.

His attention falls on Chenle. He’s found Jeno and Jaemin, the three of them dancing with the newest upbeat song. It’s chaotic and ridiculous, but they’re laughing like this is the best moment in their life. Like this, Chenle glows. Jisung can’t look away.

“Why don’t you ask him to dance?” a voice asks in his ear and Jisung jumps so high that his knee slams against the table. He hisses. “Oh, shit, sorry, dude.”

Jisung twists in his seat to find a taller boy there. He doesn’t look much older than Jisung himself. With his brown hair pushed back from his face, it gives a clear view to his strong brow and straight nose. His brown eyes sparkle with mirth as he walks around to sit in the chair Jaemin had vacated. Tilting his head, he eyes Jisung before turning to look out at the dance floor.

“Is that your boyfriend?” he asks, jutting his chin in Chenle’s direction.

Almost instantly, Jisung’s face flares with heat. “N-No. No, he’s not.”

“Really? Huh. That’s too bad. He’s kind of cute.” Jisung shoots a sideways look toward the other boy, who laughs and puts his hands up in mock surrender. “Relax. I’m only interested in the ladies. I was just making a general comment. I’m YangYang.”

“Jisung.”

“Oh, _you’re_ Jisung?” YangYang perks in his seat, full lips pulling into a smile. “Renjun was talking about you. And Chenle. That’s his name, right? The one that you keep watching?” Jisung nods despite the whisper of his inner thoughts telling him not to. He doesn’t need people, especially a stranger, knowing he’s been eying his best friend all night. “They say you’re quite the dancer. Which, brings me to the question of: why aren’t you out there dancing?”

“Just don’t want to,” he mutters. “Not up to it.”

“Not even with him?” When Jisung hesitates, YangYang hums, placing his chin in his hands as he props his elbows on the table. He furrows his brow, gaze scrutinizing. “Or maybe I read it wrong and you don’t like him like that? Just figured you did because you look at him like how Yuta looks at Sicheng or the way Hendery looks at Ten. It’s that’s whole dazed-and-enamored look, you know?”

Jisung knows the expression because that’s exactly how Jaemin and Jeno look at each other when they think the other isn’t looking. But he doesn’t think he’s capable of that.

“Oh, wait!” YangYang exclaims. “Are you in denial? Wait, am I bringing up something you’re trying to ignore? Dude, don’t do it. It’s not worth it. Wastes everyone’s time, honestly. I’ve seen it enough to know that much.”

“Wh—No, no, that’s not it at all. I know I like him. That’s not…” His voice trails off, catching himself before he can blurt out his truths to a complete stranger.

“That’s not?” YangYang raises a brow. “Dude, you can’t just leave me hanging like that. You need to tell me now.”

“And why would I do that?”

Clicking his tongue, YangYang leans back in his chair, lounging in it like a watchful cat. His finger taps against the top of the table. It doesn’t make much of a noise, the sound muffled by the white table cloth. Still, the action is distracting and Jisung finds himself observing the way his finger lifts and drops in a steady beat.

“You know, I get the feeling that you don’t usually talk a lot. You’re a watcher rather than a doer, aren’t you?” Before Jisung can reply, he continues, “That’s cool. But that also probably means you tend to keep your thoughts to yourself, am I right?”

Jisung doesn’t even try to respond. It’s starting to seem like it doesn’t matter what he says. YangYang will just keep going, regardless. Part of the lack of response could be because he’s kind of startled this is happening right now. Is he really getting lectured at his friend’s wedding by a total stranger? He’s been through some of the weirdest things because of his friends, but this is different.

He’s definitely stunned.

“Who are you again?” Jisung asks.

“YangYang.”

“You said that, but, like, are you related to Taeyong or Jaehyun?”

“I’m friends with Yuta and Sicheng. And Ten. And Lucas. You know, that crowd.” He crosses his legs. “Taeyong was nice enough to invite me. He’s been to a few of our dance competitions, actually. Super nice guy.”

Jisung nods. “Yeah, he is.”

“Anyway, I know I come off as a bit strong. Sorry about that. It’s just,” he wrinkles his nose, “dude, you look so depressed and this is a wedding, for crying out loud. It’s supposed to be happy. You’re supposed to be getting all up in your boyfriend’s business. Make out in the bathrooms or gardens or something.”

His stomach churns again and he thinks he might have gone pale because YangYang leans forward, eyes suddenly very concerned.

“You okay?”

“Not really, no.”

He’s not completely sure why he tells YangYang that. Maybe it’s because he’s tired of pretending. Or maybe it’s because YangYang knows absolutely nothing about his life and can’t really draw any conclusions or judgements. Either way, the words are out before he can stop them.

“Okay, dude, what’s happening? I have no one to tell, if that makes you more comfortable?”

“I’m not really…” He sighs and shakes his head. This is so much harder to say allowed than it is in his head. “I like him, but I don’t, um, really want to _you know_.”

“No, you’re going to have to be a bit more specific. I’m a genius, but I’m not a mind reader. That’s Taeyong’s thing.”

Jisung snorts, burying his face in his hands. Gathering himself, he turns so he can face YangYang head on. “You know when people are interested in each other or dating and they hold hands and they wrap their arms around each other and sometimes they kiss or whatever?” YangYang nods. “I don’t want to do that last part. At all.”

YangYang sits up, dawning crossing his features. His lips pop open, the sound of an ‘ohh’ elicits from his throat and Jisung wants to drop and hide under the table. He hasn’t told anyone. None of his friends know. They probably just assume he’s a late bloomer. He’s fifteen, turning sixteen soon, so maybe they just think he’s too young.

Except, he’s not. He knows he’s not. He wants a relationship. He wants to be close to someone. To hold someone’s hand, to cuddle with them, to be that solid rock in someone’s life in a different way other than platonically, is something he really likes the idea of.

But kissing? Making out? And, _oh god_ , sex?

No. Just no. Just the thought of it makes his skin crawl, his body cave in on itself, and his stomach twist until he wants to upchuck the last thing he ate.

He knows it’s not really normal. Everyone he’s talked to, surrounded himself with, are people who don’t think the way he does. Jaemin talks about kissing Jeno all the time. Jisung knows they’re exploring what he’d normally consider to be a more adult relationship status. To not want that at all seems…wrong. Abnormal. Jisung’s already dealing with the fact that he might never have an ability and now he’s starting to think he’ll also never have a relationship. Because there’s no way in hell that Chenle won’t want someone in an intimate way, even if he _was_ interested in Jisung that way. And, well, even that’s a bit foggy.

“Dude, don’t sweat it,” YangYang says. His tone is soft, though still strong enough to carry over the music, as he leans in close. “Some people like that sort of thing and some people don’t. I mean, for all you know, you could just not be into that right now. You might be later. You might never. But it’s not a bad thing, all right? And,” he looks to where Chenle is twirling on the floor, “if he likes you enough, he won’t care. Got it?”

Jisung knows, in some kind of way, YangYang is right. But there’s still a small part of him that worries because he doesn’t want to be laughed at, or stared at, or rejected just because he doesn’t want to kiss someone or touch them intimately. What teenaged boy doesn’t want sex? Apparently, he’s won the unlucky life lottery. Whoo.

It takes a moment for the words to rattle inside his brain before he nods, not totally convinced, but at least a bit more relaxed. If a total stranger can except him than maybe his friends can. Maybe.

“Well, I think I see a very pretty girl over there in need of a dance partner and I’m always one to check-in on the wallflowers,” YangYang says with a wink. “Nice to meet you, Jisung. Good luck with everything.”

“Yeah, um, you, too?” Jisung manages before YangYang zips across the room at inhuman speed. Super speed. Another super awesome power that he’s never going to have.

He’s sinking into his seat, one hand on his water, relishing in the cold that leaks through the glass, when a blur of orange flits into his vision. Chenle jogs up to and around the table and puts out both his hands. It’s kind of unfair how natural he is in a black and white suit, his tie as vibrant as his hair that’s less put together than it was when they came because of all his dancing. When he smiles, it’s like a glowing star and it makes Jisung want to reach up and hug him.

“Come on,” he coxes, brightly. “You’ve been sitting here all night and I have one more dance in me before I’m about to collapse. Join me.”

“I—I’m not sure if I want to—”

“Jisung Park, don’t make me drag you out onto the floor. Because I will.”

The laugh that escapes is breathy and a little hesitant, but he reaches up anyway to take Chenle’s hands. They’re so much warmer than his. Probably because he’s been holding onto ice water for too long.

Chenle grins as he tugs Jisung into the crowd. The music slows and Jisung spots Jeno and Jaemin wrapped in each other’s arms, swaying leisurely. Somewhere in the middle, Jaehyun and Taeyong are doing much the same thing, Taeyong’s head buried into Jaehyun’s shoulder as if he’s fallen asleep there. He can even see Johnny with that cute blonde he’s been trying to date for years, twirling her around and dipping her with a little more flare than needed for a slow song.

He feels a hand on his jaw and Jisung lets Chenle pull in his attention. A soft smile falls on Chenle’s lips as he loops his arms around Jisung’s shoulders. Gingerly, Jisung places his hands on Chenle’s waist. He’s not sure how far he can go without making things stupidly obvious.

“I’m not going to disappear,” Chenle mutters as he rests his forehead against Jisung’s collarbone, his arms tightening. That’s the permission he needs to draw Chenle in closer. “I’m tired.”

“You danced all night. I’m not surprised.”

“It’s a wedding. Dancing is required. And you danced none.” He lifts his head. “Well, until now.”

Jisung shrugs. “Just not a night for dancing for me, I guess. You looked like you were having fun, though.”

Instantly, Chenle brightens. “I did. So much. We need to do this more often.”

“Have weddings?”

“Go dancing.” Chenle hugs closer, which Jisung wasn’t sure they could even do because they’re already pressed together as close as he thought they could get. “I miss dancing with you. We used to do it all the time as kids. Promise me we can dance again?”

“Sure,” he mutters into the vibrant orange locks. “Yeah, we can do that.”

“Thank you.”

The words are quiet, barely a whisper, and they tug at Jisung’s heart. He may not know where Chenle is with their relationship, but Jisung knows. He really likes Chenle. Has for years. But he also knows that he can’t expect Chenle to want him. And not just in the normal sense, but in all the other senses as well. Jisung might not get a power. He might never want to be romantically interested. He can’t promise Chenle anything but his undying love and he doesn’t want to put Chenle in that kind of position because, in their life, those things matter.

Still, he can settle for this. He can get used to soft words and dancing and just having Chenle as his best friend. Yeah, he can handle that.

*

The next morning, Chenle picks Jisung up in one of his many Teslas that comes with a personal driver—how Chenle didn’t realize that wasn’t a normal thing for people still boggles Jisung’s mind—and they head to the apartment building on main street.

Practically all of Jisung’s friends live there now. It’s become a sort of goal for them all. Even Jisung wants to move in when he finally graduates high school. Mark, Jaemin, Jeno, and Renjun have gotten an apartment on the first floor, and Donghyuck with his cousin, Jungwoo, and Jungwoo’s boyfriend, Lucas have taken place on the fifth floor. Jisung wonders if any of them regret who they chose as roommates. So far, no one’s complained. Well, Donghyuck has, but that’s to be expected, so Jisung’s not really sure he should put much stock in that.

He settles into the back seat, Chenle humming a bouncy tune as he types into his cellphone. He looks good, with his orange hair styled up away from his face and his clothes pressed to completion. Despite them not getting home until midnight, Chenle looks refreshed and ready for the day.

“Do you think they’re even awake?” Jisung asks when he spots the apartments coming into view.

“Mark says they are,” says Chenle. “They’re both morning people, so I’m not really surprised. Hey, can I ask you something?”

Jisung tears his eyes away from the window. “What’s up?”

He tries to ignore the way his heart gives a particularly hard thump against his ribs when Chenle’s lips pull tight and his body twists in his seat. “You okay? Like, seriously. You’ve been a bit out of it for days and last night it was, well, a little odd that you didn’t even get out of your chair. I know you’ve never been a fan of parties, but Jisung you live and breathe dancing and you didn’t even bat an eyelash.”

Shifting in his seat, Jisung finds the back of the driver’s seat very interesting. Chenle is right. Jisung’s been slightly distracted for a while, but he hadn’t meant to worry anyone. While he’s known he’s liked Chenle for years, he’s just coming to terms with his possible lack of sexuality and his birthday is looming closer. It’s a lot to think about. So much.

“I’m fine,” he lies. When Chenle raises a brow, he adds, “Really. I mean it. I’m just tired a lot lately. I think it’s all that studying, you know? Mom’s been pushing me to do well this year and I’ve been taking extra studies over the break. It’s just catching up to me. Don’t worry so much.”

The car pulls to a stop before Chenle can reply and the driver announces they’ve arrived. Jisung doesn’t even give Chenle a chance to continue the conversation because he’s out of the backseat in a flash and jogging up to the sidewalk. Chenle tells the driver to wait and the two of them head inside.

Sometime, within the last couple of months, Taeyong’s been switching apartments with Taeil, who lives next door and used to be Jaehyun’s roommate. Taeyong and Jaehyun are a couple that need their own space. The swap made the most sense. But it still feels odd when they walk into what used to be just Jaehyun and Taeil’s place to find all of Taeil’s legal case files replaced with recipe books.

“What’s with the party? And why so early?” Jaehyun asks from the couch when he spots Jisung and Chenle. “Guys?”

It’s quite the collection, Jisung thinks. Johnny and Doyoung are there. Taeil, too. Hanging at the dining table is Jungwoo, Lucas, and Donghyuck. Mark, Jeno and Jaemin are on one of the other couches with Renjun perched on the arm. It’s not everyone that had been a part of the plan. Jisung knows that Ten, Yuta, and Sicheng had wanted to join in, and Kun, as well. But none of them are there. They had early shifts or dance practices to get to. Nine in the morning and they have more than half of the surprise crew here, so Jisung thinks that’s a bit of a victory to be celebrated.

They crowd around Jaehyun and Taeyong. They’re on the loveseat—fitting, Jisung notes—watching everyone with interest. They have to know. With a mind reader and an empath, nothing can get by them, but they wait nevertheless and let Johnny hand over an envelope.

Taeyong takes it, using his finger to pry the flap open. Inside are two tickets. To Chicago. Jaehyun plucks one out of Taeyong’s hand with a furrowed brow.

“What?” is all he can manage, glancing up around the group.

“It’s a honeymoon. All expenses paid. Hotel, flights, food. Well, most of the food. We all pitched in,” Johnny elaborates. “And, the address to city hall where you can officially and legally get married because we all know Korea is still in the stone ages about that. You were going to do it, anyway, so we figured we’d help out a bit. Get you there sooner rather than later.”

Jisung thinks back to the wedding last night. It was more of a formality than anything. No one could officiate it. It was vows and switching of the rings, but none of it legal. That wasn’t available. They all knew that Jaehyun planned to fly them to America to get the actual sheet of paper. They just figured a little help wasn’t a harm.

“This is…” Taeyong’s voice trails off, his gaze glued to the ticket.

Johnny leaps up from his spot in the arm chair. “No, don’t you dare! Don’t you dare cry!”

Taeyong laughs. “I wasn’t going to cry. I mean, not really. I’m just moved. Wow, you guys.”

“You really didn’t need to,” Jaehyun says, taking the rest of the envelope to take out the papers for the hotel. “You really, _really_ shouldn’t have.”

“What are friends for?” Doyoung counters with a raise of his shoulders. “Besides, you two need the vacation. After all this planning? Get away from it all and from us.”

“Of course, you have to come back,” Mark puts in. “You can’t just go running away.”

The look in Taeyong’s eyes softens. “I’m not going to leave you, Mark. I couldn’t. I just…Thank you. Thank you so much. But,” he glances down at the ticket with a frown, “um, these dates.”

“What about them?” Jungwoo asks.

“I’m going to miss a lot of birthdays.” The group laughs. Taeyong, though, seems very serious. “No, really. Two weeks and I’ll miss Johnny’s, Junwoo’s, Jisung’s.” His dark eyes settle on Jisung, corners of his lips turned down. “It’s your sixteenth. That’s such a big day.”

Jisung waves a hand at him. “If I start crushing cars or floating, I’ll send you a video message. I doubt you’ll miss much, though.”

Taeyong’s expression says he wants to counteract what Jisung’s thinking. That it’s useless to expect anything because Jisung’s from a Negate family. The chances of getting a power, especially within the first week and a half of his sixteenth birthday, is ridiculously slim.

“But you won’t miss mine,” Jaehyun teases, wiggling his brows. Taeyong snorts and hits him in the abdomen. “Ow.”

“Oh, please, I barely put any strength in that,” says Taeyong.

Johnny chuckles. “Not like you have much strength to put into it, anyway.”

A smile crosses Jaehyun’s face as he points at Johnny and Taeyong glares at them both. “Don’t you have places to be?”

“We’re going to Mark’s, right?” Chenle suddenly whispers in his ear and Jisung jumps as a shiver shoots down his spine. “You all right?”

“Fine. Just fine,” he breathes. “Um, yeah. Mark’s. Sure.”

Chenle stares at him for a long while before drawing out an “O- _kay_.”

They stay just a little longer for Taeyong and Jaehyun to thank them all personally and to watch Johnny and Doyoung poke fun at the new couple. Mark is quick to leave when Johnny starts recounting the moment he saw Jaehyun and Taeyong make out in the foyer. His hands are grasping Jisung’s and Chenle’s wrists in a flash, dragging them from the apartment with an exaggerated groan.

“One day that will be you Mark!” Johnny calls before the door can slam shut.

“I swear,” Mark mutters, letting them go and taking out his keys from his back pocket, “I’m going to have to pour acid in my ears if I hear any more about their escapades.”

The door opens again and Jaemin steps into the hall, hand in Jeno’s, and Donghyuck and Renjun trailing behind.

Jaemin scowls. “Thanks for ditching us.”

“I waited, didn’t I?” Mark counters.

“Can we go before Johnny comes out and ruins even more of my innocence?” Renjun asks, causing Donghyuck to snort.

“What innocence?”

Renjun hits him on the arm and the big baby that Donghyuck is whines. He takes an instinctive step toward Mark before he can stop himself. But as his shoulder bumps Mark’s, he seems to realize how close they are and he steps back, averting his gaze. Mark doesn’t seem to notice, however, because his nose is in his phone again.

“Hey,” Renjun snatches the phone, “we’re still here, idiot.”

“I know that.” Mark is quick to grab it back. “Come on, let’s go.”

They make their way to the first floor, down the stairs just so that they can shout as loud as they want with the echoing walls. Jisung manages to cover Chenle’s mouth before he can yell and destroy all their eardrums.

“You’re no fun,” Chenle pouts when he finally gets Jisung’s hands off him.

“I’d like to keep my hearing, thank you.”

His friend’s apartment is an amalgamation of the four of them. In the corner is Mark’s guitar, which leans up against Renjun’s keyboard. A file cabinet of music stands beside that. Jaemin’s taken over almost the entire window sill with plants of various kinds. One of them has long, dangling limbs that seem to get closer and closer to the television each time Jisung comes over. Jeno’s the only one that doesn’t have his things sprawled all over the place, but Jisung knows his and Jaemin’s room is full of random items that he really doesn’t need.

Donghyuck finds home on the couch, stretching across it like a lazy cat. It doesn’t last long, however, since Renjun’s on him in seconds, making him squirm and create some room. The furniture comes from all over between the four of them, so it doesn’t really match, but, for some reason, it works. It makes the place cozy, Jisung thinks.

“Seriously, who are you texting that’s just so flipping interesting?” Jaemin asks as he tries to peek over Mark’s shoulder.

Mark tries to twist away, but Jeno’s right there to take a look. “Who’s Mina?”

“No one,” Mark says a little too quickly.

“Wait, isn’t that the girl who asked for your number at orientation?” inquires Renjun. His eyes narrow. “You’ve been texting her since then?”

“She’s cool,” Mark says. His eyes flick about the room, stuttering on Donghyuck a little more than the rest, before he focuses back on his phone. “I don’t know. I like talking to her.”

“He’s dating her,” Donghyuck announces from the couch.

Jisung’s never felt a whole room freeze before, but it’s something. It hits like an ice storm. Mark is still, gaze locked on Donghyuck, whose lips curl up into a crooked grin. Except, it doesn’t quite reach his eyes and Jisung can see the way his mouth twitches like it’s trying too hard. Jeno and Chenle are gawking and Jaemin appears like he’s not sure what to say, his mouth opening and closing without sound. Renjun is the only one that doesn’t seem that surprised, yet he also doesn’t seem to like the whole prospect, in general.

“Wait, what? You have a girlfriend?” Jeno practically shouts.

“Again?” Jaemin adds, stunned.

It seems to take a little too much effort to tear his gaze from Donghyuck, but then Mark’s turning his attention on Jaemin instead. “Again? Why do you have to make it sound like a bad thing that I’m repeating? We met a couple weeks ago and we’ve gone on a couple of dates. She’s not my girlfriend.”

“Yet,” Renjun puts in, unhelpfully.

Chenle collapses next to the coffee table, dragging Jisung down next to him. “This is too much for me.”

“Wait,” Jaemin throws up his hands, “wait, wait. Donghyuck knew you were dating her?”

There’s a way he twists the question that makes sense to only a select section of the group. Or, more like, everyone in the group except Mark. Because everyone knows that Donghyuck—as much as he likes to play it off or ignore it completely—has some kind of feeling for Mark that’s not just friendly. It’s been kind of noticeable for years. Probably even longer than Jeno and Jaemin. Definitely longer than Jisung’s feelings for Chenle.

The problem is, Donghyuck is so far in denial that he won’t even consider that an option and he probably really, truly believes he doesn’t like Mark that way. But everyone knows that’s not true. So, how was he handling the fact that Mark was now turning his affection elsewhere? Apparently, judging by the way he’s been acting the last little while, not very well.

But Jisung’s not really worried about that as much as he’s worried about Mark. While Donghyuck’s been floating down the river of denial and practically drowning in it, Mark’s been totally unsubtle about the fact that he’s completely in love with Donghyuck and has been since Donghyuck fell out of a tree, landed on him, and broke his nose. It’s a fact. It’s just something they’ve all grown up knowing.

A girlfriend? Mark’s tried it before and it didn’t last long, only about three months. She broke up with him, claiming he cared too much about his friends and not enough about their relationship. Not that any of them minded. It had been weird not having Mark with them twenty-four-seven. And it was around that time that Mark really came to terms about his feelings toward Donghyuck. After that, he never looked at another person.

Now, though, he wasn’t just looking. He was dating. He was facing the other way completely. He wasn’t even sticking to Donghyuck’s side like he used to.

Despite how much he wants to hide it from everyone—and, more importantly, himself—Jisung wonders how Donghyuck is digesting all this.

“Donghyuck knows because,” Mark waves a hand toward Donghyuck on the couch, searching for words, “he’s Donghyuck.”

Translation: Donghyuck snooped and found out and I had to tell him.

They all know the drill.

“And, anyway, you can’t expect me to be single my whole life,” Mark continues. “I mean, everyone else is slowly entering the dating world. The fact that I’m seeing Mina shouldn’t be all that shocking.”

“The difference is that when you date, you disappear,” Jaemin says. “And then we’re left squabbling around because you’re not there to hold us together. The last time you dated was an utter disaster for us all.”

Renjun wrinkles his nose. “It wasn’t that bad.”

“Yeah, it was _that_ bad.”

Sighing, Mark settles into the arm chair. “Look, it’s not like I’m asking her to marry me—”

Jaemin gives a scandalized gasp. “You better not be!”

“I’m not! I’m just going on a couple dates and she’s cool to hang out with. I really don’t see the issue.”

How does he not? He hasn’t just snapped himself out of liking Donghyuck that quickly. And, if he has, he’s got to tell Jisung the secret because he could take a few pointers on how to not like someone, especially his best friend.

“I don’t understand why you’re so into dating right now,” says Jaemin. He’s shaking his head, like he still can’t believe what Mark’s told him. Like he’s trying to shake himself out of a dream. If anyone knows the true innerworkings of Mark and Donghyuck’s complicated relationship, it’s Jaemin. He’s probably got all kinds of things snapping about in his head right now. “We’ve barely even started university. This has come out of nowhere.”

“It really hasn’t,” Mark admits.

“What are you—”

A loud crash echoes around the apartment and everyone turns to see Donghyuck, peering down on a pile of music texts and a couple of remotes for the television that have scattered across the floor. He lets out a breathy chuckle and leans down to pick them up.

“Oops, my bad,” he says, a little too perkily. Once they’re back on the coffee table, he grins. “Let’s leave Mark alone, yeah? We have better things to talk about then Mark’s love life.”

From across the living room, Mark twirls his phone, eyes narrowed at Donghyuck as if he’s trying to read his mind. Jisung feels like he’s walking on eggshells around them. One sudden move and they’ll both crumble or explode. Neither are preferable. So, they take Donghyuck’s hint and switch the topic before anything chaotic can happen.

Settling back into his spot on the couch, legs thrown on Renjun’s lap, Donghyuck asks, “What are we doing for little Jisung’s birthday? We’ve got—what?—two weeks? Three?”

“About,” Jisung replies. “But you don’t have to do anything. I’m cool with just hanging out or something.”

Jeno purses his lips in thought. “We haven’t had a sleepover in a while—”

“No!” Mark and Donghyuck shout in unison, jumping almost out of their seats. They exchange wide-eyed glances before immediately looking away.

“All right,” Jeno says, slowly. “No sleepover then.”

“We could just do something at my place?” Chenle offers. “Pool party? Pizza? I doubt my parents would care.”

Renjun sighs, smiling. “I haven’t been to your place in forever. You have heated floors.”

“I do.”

“What do you think Jisung? It’s your party,” Jaemin says.

But Jisung’s not quite listening. His eyes are locked on his hand, fingers intertwined with Chenle’s, and he feels a bit betrayed by his own hand for not letting go. It needs to let go. Bastard, he thinks as he tries to flex his fingers open to no avail. It’s not like it’s weird to hold hands with Chenle. They do it often, but Jisung doesn’t like to hold on for long. Just in case it somehow gives away his feelings.

“Jisung?” Chenle whispers and he snaps up. The look he gets is concerned, furrowed brows and downturned lips. “Where did you go?”

“Nowhere,” he says, hurriedly. “Um, yeah. That sounds good. Really good.”

“Well, okay, then,” says Chenle. He smiles and his eyes sparkle and Jisung feels so struck. It makes him want to hold onto Chenle’s hand tighter so he can’t disappear on him. “Party at my place for the sixteen-year-old.”

“They grow up so fast,” Jaemin whines, wiping invisible tears from his eyes.

Renjun hits him with a pillow. “You aren’t his mother!”

Jisung laughs along with the rest of them, but his mind is far from the commotion in the living room. It’s in the way Chenle’s eyes look at him with stars embedded in his pupils, in the way Chenle’s fingers feel against his while they hold on tight. No matter how hard he tries, he can’t pull himself from that. And that, he knows, is a bit of an issue. How do deal with it is a different question all together.

*

Being sixteen didn’t feel any different from being fifteen. There are no fireworks, or spontaneous shifts in his body or mind. It’s just…the same. He’s still just a gangly, slightly too tall boy. The same boy as yesterday and the week before and the month before that. Jisung hopes that’s normal for everyone because he really doesn’t want to think that it’s some sign that he’s forever going to be powerless.

When his alarm goes off, he swings his legs over the edge of the bed to shake away the tiredness. He had spent most of the night talking to Chenle, playing video games over the computer, until the clock hit midnight just so that Chenle could wish him a happy birthday before everyone else. It was fun at the time, but now he feels the need to crawl back under the covers and never come out. 

His phone has blown up. Even Taeyong, now on his honeymoon, has sent a congratulatory message. He smiles as he scrolls through them all.

The door to his room opens and his mom pokes her head through. Upon seeing him up and moving, she steps inside, putting her hands on her hips and grinning at him as if this is the proudest moment of her life. Jisung barely has time to dodge before she’s yanking him into a hug. He stumbles off his bed and onto his feet. If it hadn’t been for his mom’s strong hold, he would have fallen.

“My baby boy,” she says into his shoulder. “My boy is growing up so fast.”

“You aren’t crying, are you? Mom, we talked about this.”

He tries to lean away, but his mom’s not having it. She clings to his torso like a leech. Jisung’s well aware that he got his height from his father. He had been a tall man, towering over his mother, much like Jisung does now. Still, she hugs like she’s saving a life and Jisung really likes that. So, if he has to bend down a little to wrap his arms around her shoulders, he’ll do it.

“I’m not crying,” she huffs. “I’m just a little misty-eyed.” She steps back, taking him by the biceps and studies his face. “I’m so proud of you.”

“I aged a year. I don’t think that’s much of an accomplishment.”

“Oh, hush. Now, hurry up and shower. I have pancakes downstairs and your grandmother has been anxiously awaiting you to join her.”

She’s out of the room in a flurry before he can say anything else. Collecting his things, he heads to the bathroom to get ready. When he’s done, he makes his way downstairs, following the sweet smell of pancakes. Sitting at the dining table is his grandmother. She’s as petite as her daughter with hair graying at the sides, yet her eyes still hold a playful youth as she catches sight of him in the doorway.

“My favourite grandson,” she says, getting up to hug him.

“I’m your only grandson.”

“Shush.” She takes her seat again, patting the spot beside her. “What do you have planned today?”

His mother places a plate of food—eggs, bacon, and pancakes—in front of him as he sits down. “I’m meeting the guys. We’re hanging out at Chenle’s.”

“Ah, Chenle. I like him. Sweet boy.”

Sometimes Jisung wonders if his grandmother likes Chenle more than him. Then again, he’s the one she slips money and candy to when no one is looking.

As she reaches for the pepper, the sleeve of her shirt rides up, revealing the bottom of a crossed out zero tattooed on her wrist. It’s a little grayer than his mother’s, due to how long it’s been etched into her skin, but it’s there. Right there.

Jisung swallows over the sudden lump in his throat. If he doesn’t get a power by his seventeenth birthday, he’ll have to undergo the marking. He shifts his wrist against the table as phantom needles tingle his skin.

Being a Negate isn’t bad. His grandmother, his grandfather, and his parents have all done well living without an ability. Sure, people look down on them, some employers don’t want to hire them, and there are plenty of people that simply go out of their way to make everything worse for Negates, but, as a family, they’ve made it through.

The thing is, Jisung knows his mother’s waiting. So is his grandmother. They’re anticipating this year, to see if Jisung will join them in the under-rankings of society or if he’ll finally rise above and have an easier life.

It’s a lot of pressure, even if they don’t mean it to be.

“Jisung?”

He blinks. “Sorry?”

“Goodness, you just get into that head of yours a little too often, don’t you?” teases his grandmother. “Just like your grandfather. He was often in the clouds, as well. I asked when you were going to bring that sweet boy back over. He doesn’t come by as often anymore. You’re always out and about, instead.”

“Who? Chenle?”

“Yes, Chenle. The boy you’re so moon-eyed over. Who else would I mean?”

“Grandma!” he exclaims, nearly choking on his orange juice.

She glances between Jisung and his mother. “What? You think just because I’m old, I didn’t notice? Jisung, I’m not that stupid. Neither am I blind. Thank god.”

His ears are burning as he tries to drown himself with his juice. When the glass is empty, he has no choice but to say, “I’m not _moon-eyed_.”

“Someone would think _you’re_ the old one if you’re that blind.”

“ _Mom_ ,” he whines.

His mother coughs a laugh, shaking her head. “I want nothing to do with this conversation. But I will say that he’s a very nice boy and he’s very good-looking. I’m sure he’d look wonderful in family portraits.”

Shoving away his plate, Jisung drops his head to the table with a soft thud and lets out a long groan. “Why do you hate me?”

Gently, his mother pats his head. “Aw, honey. We just want you to be happy. And he makes you happy, right?”

Jisung, rolling his head to look at her, blows out his warm cheeks. “I guess.”

“So, what’s wrong?”

He shakes his head. It isn’t that he doesn’t want to tell his mother about his issues. Honestly, it would be smart to. She’s a great listener and she’s been through enough difficult trials in her life that she probably would have good advice, but Jisung also thinks that she’s never had to deal with the fact that she’s never wanted to kiss someone or the pressures of getting a power. She’s always been normal, and her family is a long line of Negates.

No, he’s not sure what she could say that would make things better. Anything she’d come up with would be the average ‘it’ll be okay’ or ‘we’ll work through it together’, and as much as those things are nice to hear, they aren’t really what he needs right now.

“It’s okay,” he says.

His mother looks like she’s about to ask about it, but his grandma steps in with, “Oh, leave the poor boy alone. If he wants to be all ‘mysterious, teenaged boy’, he can.”

“I just want to know why my boy seems so sad,” she pouts. He feels sort of guilty for not opening up now.

“If he wants to talk, he will. Right, Jisung?”

“Right,” he agrees, finishing up his food. It makes his stomach warm and full. “Thank you for breakfast. I gotta run.”

“So soon?”

“Let the boy go spend time with his friend,” his grandma says as she leans over to brush his hair from his forehead. “You tell Chenle we say hi, yeah?”

Jisung is up and out of his seat so fast that it feels inhuman. Unfortunately, it’s not a power but the need to get out of there before anyone can say anything about his burning red face. His grandmother’s laughter drifts after him as he races upstairs to pack his bag.

His mom whines and pouts when he slides on his shoes and tells her he’ll be back later tonight. His grandma practically shoves him out the door with a sly smile. Jisung’s not sure what else to say, so he lets her rush him out.

Despite being Jisung’s friend for nearly four years, Chenle still doesn’t seem to understand why Jisung wants to use buses when Chenle could just send a car. But Jisung likes public transit because, for that small trip, Negates and power users are the same. He likes those kinds of moments. It makes things feel a lot less vast between the two.

He rides the bus to the edge of Chenle’s neighborhood. It’s gated, which means he needs to be buzzed in. The first time he came over, it had been intimidating. All the homes on the inside are mini-mansions with tall walls and towering columns. The streets are pressure-washed frequently and the yards and gardens are manicured to perfection. There’s a lot to be intimidated by, especially for someone who comes from a very small home in a not-so-perfect part of town.

Once the gates have swung open, Jisung makes his way down the street to Chenle’s place. He can already hear the music as he reaches the front door. It’s even louder when Chenle’s butler opens the door and tells Jisung they’re in the pool room. He thanks the poor, tired-looking man, and makes his way through the house. He’s been here enough times to know his way around the place. When he finally reaches the glass doors to the pool, Jisung shoves it open to find all his friends inside.

The music dips down as Jaemin screams, “Birthday boy is here!”

The pool is big, blue, and part of it leads outside into the open air of a perfect February day. The wind’s a bit chilly, but it doesn’t matter because the water and the floors are heated. Chenle, the lucky boy. How he didn’t know he was rich is beyond Jisung. Then again, Chenle had been home schooled until he was thirteen and had never really hung out with the average child until that point.

He’s barely made it to the chair before there’s an armful of boy leaping at him. He catches Chenle, struggling to keep on his feet.

“Whoa, Lele,” Jeno laughs. “Don’t kill him before he can even take a swim.”

“I wouldn’t kill him!” argues Chenle. His orange hair is extra fluffy today and Jisung wants to touch it, but he holds back. He beams up at Jisung. “Happy birthday!”

“Thank you.”

He peels Chenle off him and moves to set his bag beside everyone else’s. Jaemin’s taken one of the lounge chairs to sprawl himself on. His pink shorts are startling. Jisung thinks it’s funny how he’s fully willing to be decked out in the color, but the moment it touches his hair he’s done.

It looks as though Jeno’s been in the pool because he’s dripping wet, black hair sticking to his forehead as he walks over and shakes right next to Jaemin’s chair, who lets out a squeak and a very loud, “Yah, Jeno Lee!” He reaches up to grab a laughing Jeno. Instead of attacking him, though, Jaemin wrestles him into the chair and kisses him.

Jisung looks away.

“What did I say about PDA?” Donghyuck shouts from the other end of the pool. His arms are rested on the edge, his legs kicking to keep him afloat, as he talks to Renjun, who’s only got his feet wet. Jisung’s waiting for the moment Donghyuck decides to pull him in.

Mark’s there, too. He’s shaking his head as Jaemin and Donghyuck yell at each other from across the room, his seat at the edge of the pool. When he looks over, he gives Jisung a ‘what can you do?’ smile, partnered with a shrug of his shoulders.

“Let’s swim,” says Chenle, tugging on Jisung’s arm.

“In a bit. You go and I’ll join in a minute.”

Chenle nods and rushes to the edge of the pool, cannonballing. The splash hits Jaemin and Jeno. He makes his way through the water to Donghyuck and Renjun.

“Leave me alone,” Jaemin says, shoving Jeno’s shoulder. “You’re all wet and I want to relax.”

Jeno pecks him on the cheek and hurries off, leaving Mark, Jaemin, and Jisung to themselves. Dropping into the chair next to Jaemin, Jisung asks, “You don’t want to swim?”

“Not yet. Maybe later.” Jaemin’s shades are back on, blocking his eyes, but Jisung knows he’s being watched. “So, anything?”

He shakes his head. “No. And I doubt there will be.”

“You have all year, Jisung,” Mark says. “Don’t count yourself out just yet.”

“People say that, but those are the people with an actual _chance_. I mean, think about our group,” he gestures to them all, “Jaemin can control plants, Jeno talks to animals, Donghyuck can set things on fire, Renjun can speak all languages, you can jump into people’s dreams, and Chenle can bring down a building with just his voice. And you all have a long history of power users in your families. I have one. And people don’t even remember what he _did_.”

“But you have that one shot and shouldn’t you hold onto that?” Jaemin suggests, brows furrowing behind his glasses.

“I think I should prepare myself for the inevitable. I’m never going to get an ability.”

“People don’t always get their powers right after their sixteenth birthday.”

“Oh, yeah, because you can talk,” Jisung says with a roll of his eyes. “You got yours the day after your birthday. Jeno a week after his. Mark, Donghyuck, and Chenle all got theirs before sixteen. Do we even know when Renjun got his? I feel like he’s just always had it.”

“It was the day before his sixteenth,” Mark tells him.

Throwing up his hands, he says, “Wow. Okay, great. So, I’m friends with people who are all basically early bloomers. Wonderful.”

“You know you’re always one of us no matter what happens,” says Jaemin, sitting up to place a hand on his knee. “Negate or not.”

Jisung stares at his hands, eyes burning. But he’s not going to cry. This isn’t worth crying about. “I just want to be like you guys. I hate being powerless. You guys don’t really get what it’s like. You’ve always been looked at like ability users even when you didn’t have one just because of your families. I’ve always been looked at as a Negate. Useless and powerless and bound to be nothing.”

“Jisung,” Jaemin gasps. “Take that back. You are not useless or bound to be nothing. And even if you have no power, you aren’t _powerless_. You have so many other skills that shine through. This won’t be the end of the world.”

But it will be, he thinks. It’ll feel like it, anyway. It’s all Jisung’s ever wanted since he knew abilities were even a thing. To be viewed like the majority of the world. He worries his lip until it hurts. Maybe, Jaemin’s right. It may not be the end of the world, but it’ll be the end of all his hope and that might just be worse.

Mark leans forward to catch his eye. “Try not to think about it too much. Just enjoy the fact that you survived sixteen years. Five of those years where you had Donghyuck as a friend. That’s a feat.”

Coughing a laugh, Jisung says, “Guess you’re right.”

“Oh! Chenle bought a cake. I’m going to go get that.”

“It’s so early for cake,” Mark says.

Jaemin wiggles his finger. “It’s never too early for cake. I’ll be right back.”

As he disappears, Jisung moves his attention back to Chenle. It’s strange how easily it happens, even when he doesn’t have hair the color of a traffic cone. There’s just something about Chenle that draws him in, and if Chenle wanted him to jump off a cliff or come to Hell, Jisung would do it. It’s impossible for him to say no. They’ve only been friends for a few years, but it feels like an eternity. It feels like Chenle’s a part of him that he just can’t let go, doesn’t want to let go.

Jeno’s shoving Renjun into the water and Chenle is laughing, his power amplifying it enough to ring in Jisung’s ears. When Renjun comes up, he looks ready to kill and he reaches to grab Jeno’s ankle and yank him into the pool.

Chaos. They’re all utter chaos.

Sighing, Mark puts down his phone and leans back in the chair, eyes landing on the four boys in the pool, jumping and splashing around like they’re five and not dragging themselves over the line of adulthood. Jisung wonders if they’ll always be like this, fun and wild. He hopes so.

Donghyuck swims over to the edge, pushing himself out with ease and shaking out his hair. Jisung flinches away from the flying droplets. Hands on his hips, Donghyuck tilts his head at Mark and says, “If you’re done talking with your little girlfriend, how about you join?”

Jisung wonders if Mark can feel the underlining ice in those words despite the smirk Donghyuck has on his face.

“I will in a bit. Jaemin went to get the cake.” He reaches down to grab a towel to toss to Donghyuck. “You’re going to get cold.”

“I’m practically made from fire, Mark. I don’t get cold. What’s with you lately?”

Mark frowns. “What do you mean?”

“Dude, we’re hanging out and you’re on your phone. That’s how it always is now. I get it, you’re meeting new people, you’ve got yourself a girlfriend—”

“She’s not my girlfriend.”

“—but you’re here with us. No offense to her, but we’ve been here longer and we’re a little bit more important, don’t you think?”

“That’s sort of selfish, isn’t it? Making me choose between the two? I’m not going to pick, Donghyuck.”

Donghyuck grips the towel until his knuckles whiten. “I’m not asking you to.”

“Yes, you are.”

“I’m just saying that it would be nice if you were actually paying attention to Jisung _on his birthday_ than to your phone.”

“I am,” Mark insists. “Why don’t you just admit that you don’t like the fact that I’m focusing my attention on something other than you?”

The towel bursts into flames. Jisung jumps back as Mark leaps forward. He knocks Donghyuck’s hand toward the pool, the towel falling from his grasp. It hisses as the fire extinguishes against the surface of the water, until it starts to sink to the bottom. Jeno, Chenle, and Renjun have halted at the other end of the pool, staring wide-eyed.

“Fuck,” Donghyuck snaps. He grips his hair. “Fuck. Fuck.”

“Hyuck—” Mark reaches out to touch Donghyuck’s arm, but it’s slapped away.

“Don’t touch me. Give me a second.”

A moment passes as they all watch Donghyuck as if just waiting for him to explode into flames. Jisung would like to say that’s never happened, but he knows from Jaemin’s many stories that it definitely has. So, they wait.

Donghyuck takes in deep breathes until he’s calm enough to make his way to his bag and pull out his bottle of suppressants. He pops one and sits down on the lounge chair Jaemin left empty.

“You okay?” Jisung asks.

The smile he gets is thin, maybe even a little bit tired, but Donghyuck’s never been the type to expose himself so fully, so there’s still a hint of playfulness as he says, “I’m fine, Sungie. Don’t worry about me. Just a little overheated.” He runs his fingers through his hair. “Pray you don’t get a power that requires you to take those pills. They’re horrendous.”

“Donghyuck,” Mark starts.

“Mark?” Donghyuck asks, turning his golden eyes away from Jisung. In a minute, they’ll turn back to their original brown.

The tension is tight. Jisung hates it because he knows that Mark and Donghyuck have been friends since they were children. They know each other like the back of their hands. To see them fight is abnormal and terrifying. And as a person who doesn’t like confrontation, in general, Jisung’s feeling very uncomfortable right now.

The door opens and Jaemin raises his arms, cake in hand. “I have cake! What? What’s going on?”

“Nothing,” Mark mumbles as he marches over to help Jaemin set the cake up on one of the little side tables.

They pretend the last couple of minutes never happened. Donghyuck lights the candles with a wave of his hand, throwing his arm around Jisung’s shoulders as he sings ‘Happy Birthday’ obnoxiously in his ear with everyone else. They pass out the pieces and Chenle tells his butler to order them some food for lunch.

Sitting around the pool, things fall into a comfortable conversation. It probably helps that Mark’s put down his phone finally.

It’s nice. Jisung likes this. Likes the way they hang out, the way they talk, the way they have fun. The underlining issues between certain people seems to dissipate as they inhale their food and laugh about the stupid things they’ve done in the past. Jaemin likes to bring up the times they trespassed at the community center. Chenle mentions the time they were almost caught sneaking onto campus.

“I felt like I was going to be sick,” says Mark, shivering as he remembers.

Donghyuck snorts. “You’re such a wimp.”

“It was your fault we almost got caught.”

“Mine?” Donghyuck gawks.

“If you hadn’t been so loud, they never would have known,” Mark states, crossing his arms. He dodges the piece of cake Donghyuck hurls at his face.

“Not the cake!” Jeno shouts.

Jisung likes to think back to when they’d hang out at each other’s houses, when they’d get ice cream at the shop, when they’d test out their rebellious skills for just one night. Those were the things that made Jisung remember how much of a family they were.

They all end up in the pool later on. Mostly because Jeno and Donghyuck drag them in. Jisung was quick to prepare himself when they pick him up and drop him in, the water rushing around him loudly. At one point, Jaemin brings out the floating pool chairs, but he doesn’t get to stay in them for very long. Even Mark joins them in flipping it over. Jaemin will swear to his grave that he did not screech like a dying cat on the way in.

It’s nearing dinner time when they slowly start to bring it in. Jisung doesn’t really want to leave. He’s more than willing to stay longer, even the night if he can, and Chenle’s more than willing to let him. One of Chenle’s workers starts the firepit outside and they spread out around it, soaking in the warmth until they finally start saying goodbye.

Renjun ruffles Jisung’s hair on the way out with one of his rare smiles. Jeno and Jaemin both give him hugs, though Jaemin’s is a little more suffocating with a lot more whines about how Jisung is getting too tall and growing too old. It requires both Renjun and Jeno to peel him away. Mark is the next to leave, shortly after that, with a quick hug and a wave. This leaves Jisung with Donghyuck and Chenle, fire blazing between them.

“When do you have to leave?” Chenle asks.

Donghyuck glances up from the flames. They light up the patio in a warm, orange glow. “That eager to get rid of me?”

“Well, no. You can stay as long as you like. You know that.”

“I won’t stay much longer,” he says. “I just need to waste some more time since Lucas and Jungwoo are doing a date tonight.” Jisung wrinkles his nose, knowing what that meant. “As much as I love my cousin and Lucas, I really need to get out of their place. It’s like they can’t breathe unless they’re attached at the mouth at least three times a day.”

Donghyuck falls into some kind of trance as he locks his eyes onto the fire. It’s like he loses himself in each flame, letting it draw him in. Jisung’s seen Jaemin get like this while they’re on hikes. Except, he tends to hug the trees and whisper to the bushes. If Jisung didn’t know that element users need time to connect to their element, to allow them to get a subconscious agreement with it, Jisung would think they were all a little nuts.

“Are you all right?” inquires Chenle as he squints at Donghyuck from the other side of the circle.

“Fine,” Donghyuck mumbles. “Just…tired.” Glancing at his phone, he stands up, straightening out his shorts. “I should probably go. Happy Birthday, squirt.”

“Thanks, Hyuck,” Jisung says.

He leans over on the chair arm as Donghyuck walks past, allowing him to ruffle Jisung’s hair on the way. There’s a brief moment where Donghyuck looks like he’s contemplating something. Lips tight and eyebrows furrowed, he pauses mid-step to study Jisung’s face. Jisung’s not expecting Donghyuck to lean down and hug him.

It’s insanely warm, especially being so close to a bonfire, as well. Even still, Jisung lifts a hand to hug Donghyuck back in a very out-of-the-blue, completely random and rare moment in history. As quick as it comes, it’s gone.

Awkwardly, Donghyuck pats Jisung on the shoulder. “Right. Okay, I’m going to go. See you, kids.”

“Bye!” Chenle shouts, waving emphatically as Donghyuck disappears through the gates. Once he’s gone, Chenle deflates and tosses himself back into his chair. “I’m not the only one realizing how much of a mess Donghyuck and Mark are, am I?”

“Definitely not,” Jisung agrees.

“I don’t even want to get into it. Jeno and Jaemin were bad enough. Anyway, how’s your birthday been so far?”

Jisung’s tongue feels heavy when he glances over at Chenle. The fire reflects off his hair, making it brighter than it usually is. It kind of hurts Jisung’s eyes, but, no matter how distracting it is, Jisung doesn’t look at it for long because he gets lost in how sparkly Chenle’s eyes are when he smiles, chin in his hands, elbows perched on the arm of his chair.

Sometimes, Jisung doesn’t know what to do when he gets Chenle’s undivided attention. It’s not a rare occurrence, but it feels like it because Jisung is always watching Chenle. Listening to him, admiring him. However, just as much as Chenle talks, he’s always turning the conversation on Jisung. He’ll ask questions, want his opinion, simply stare at Jisung until he says something about it.

In a way, Chenle was the one that brought out the talkative side of him. Majority of the time, he likes to sit and watch. Except, with Chenle, he wants to talk. He wants to share and joke and watch Chenle’s reactions. Maybe make him laugh. Jisung likes doing that.

So, he’s stuck, staring at Chenle with his throat going dry because Chenle is just really pretty. Unfortunately, he has to respond at some point or there are going to be questions.

“Mhmm,” he manages, struggling to tear his eyes away. “It—it was great. Thank you for hosting.”

“It’s a good thing I trust you guys to not mess up the place. Although, occasionally I worry about Donghyuck and his penchant for setting buildings on fire.” Clicking his tongue, he says, “I was going to do streamers and fireworks and sparklers, but Mark and Renjun talked me out of it. Said you’d want something simple. As if I wouldn’t know you would. But I just wanted to make it more special.”

“I’m actually kind of glad you didn’t do all that because they would have still left and we would have had to clean it all up.”

“Fair point.”

Except Chenle’s still pouting, so Jisung takes his hand. Usually, it’s his hand that gets grabbed. This time, though, it feels right to be the one reaching out, locking their fingers together. Chenle eyes widen ever so slightly before crinkling at the edges as his lips pull into a smile. He tugs Jisung’s hand closer, to take it between both of his and turns his grin onto Jisung. It makes Jisung’s heart stutter.

“You staying here for the night?”

“I should probably go home. I think my mom wants the remainder of my birthday to herself, you know?”

Chenle nods. “Of course. Who wouldn’t want you around?”

His mouth goes dry again. “Maybe? I guess?”

“You never were one to take compliments,” he laughs. Hopping out of his chair, he bounces to Jisung’s side and bends down. His lips press against the apple of Jisung’s cheek. “Happy birthday, Sungie.”

Jisung can’t do anything else but gawk up at Chenle and his stupidly pretty face. Then, Chenle laughs, lets go of Jisung’s hand, and starts back toward the house, leaving Jisung breathless.

When he finally gets his breathing under control, he races after Chenle because that’s his life. Always chasing, never really catching.

One day, he thinks as he steps inside the house. One day, he’ll be lucky.

*

The first day of school is always the worst.

Well, almost all the days are bad, but the first is the worst and merely because it’s the time everyone comes together to excitedly talk about new developments (i.e. new abilities).

In elementary school, it isn’t so bad because the majority of the students have nothing to share. There may have been a few special people, and they were always the most popular, but the rest were still living their average, non-powerful years.

Then, high school comes along. It’s the time people start to really care who comes from what family and what kinds of powers would arise. If there’s a Negate family, it’s common knowledge. By the time he became a freshmen, everyone knew about Jisung’s lineage. He couldn’t hide it and, in turn, it bumped him to the bottom of the food chain before he could even react. It didn’t matter if he wasn’t supposed to get his powers yet because, well, most people knew he never would.

Jisung’s glad he had friends that stuck with him. Unfortunately, however, none of them really knew what happened in his classes, in his hallways. He was the last out of elementary school, which gave him a whole year alone, struggling to deal with the fact that people thought so little of him to the point of petty pranks and taunting words. And he’s always been alone in his classes. It never led to fun moments with his classmates.

So, yeah, the first day of school is the day everyone shows Jisung just how far behind he is. It’s the day that sets up the pace for a whole year of torture. He knows that Junior year, the year people start gaining new power, the year they’ve been preparing for, is going to be absolute Hell. And, if he doesn’t get an ability this year, Senior year is going to be even worse.

It probably doesn’t help that he’s currently standing by himself in the hallways, waiting for Chenle to arrive. A group of kids he’s been sharing the same homeroom with since elementary school are eyeing him from across the hall, as if they’re waiting to see if he managed to gain some kind of power over break. He tries to ignore them.

He nearly crashes in relief when he spots a familiar head of orange hair and flags Chenle down.

“Sorry, sorry,” Chenle says as he dodges the rest of the students to makes his way to Jisung. He leans against the lockers, trying to gather his breath. “Hey, morning. Sorry, I’m late. My alarm didn’t go off and then there was traffic.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Jisung tells him, moving to pop open Chenle’s locker for him. They’ve always known each other’s combinations, always had lockers close by, if not right beside each other. “Where’s your first class?”

“Second floor. You?”

“First. But we’re meeting up for lunch?”

“We always do. This year isn’t any different. Well, I mean, it’s a bit different.” Glancing down the hallway, he adds, “It feels weird without everyone else. I keep expecting to hear Donghyuck or Jaemin yelling or laughing.”

Jisung wants to mention that Chenle only has to deal with it for a year before he’s moving onto university. Whereas, he has to stay a whole other year by himself before he can finally leave these walls. But he doesn’t say anything. Instead, he rests a hand on Chenle’s shoulder and gives him a small smile.

“At least, we have each other,” he points out. “Could be worse.”

“Urgh, so true.” Chenle closes his locker. “Are you coming to practice tonight? I can drive you home after.”

“Wouldn’t miss it. You should head to class. Bell’s about to ring.”

Nose wrinkling, Chenle says, “Here’s to another stupid year of listening to teachers drone on about things I don’t care about and mounds of homework, huh?”

“Just think, one more year and you’re out. Then you can listen to _professors_ drone on and do even more homework.”

“You really know how to woo a boy.”

Jisung laughs, shoving at Chenle’s shoulder. “Go. I’ll text you at lunch.”

“You better. Have a good class. Love ya!”

With that, Chenle gives a wave and disappears into the sea of students. Jisung stares after, hands clutching at his books.

He knows Chenle is just saying it, that he loves Jisung on a best friend level. Still, he can’t help the quiet whisper of “I love you, too” slip between his lips, wishing he could say it aloud and have Chenle mean it back.

Suddenly, someone whacks him from behind. Sharp, quick pain shoots through his shoulder and he stumbles a bit as he turns to see Monday. She places her fists on her hips and raises a brow, clearly unimpressed.

“Ow?” Jisung says, rubbing at his shoulder. “What the hell?”

“How about, instead of muttering it when he’s out of range, you tell him to his face?” she quips.

Rolling his eyes, Jisung brushes past her. “Leave me alone, Monday.”

He hears her shoes click against the floor as she follows after him. It doesn’t matter how fast he goes; he knows he won’t lose her. Monday, despite her slender form, is a force to be reckoned with. She’s an athlete, a competitor, and ridiculously determined in mind. They haven’t been friends for long, just since last year, but it’s enough time to make Jisung feel like she’s the sister he never had. Or never wanted.

“That’s how you greet me? After a whole break of ignoring me?” she demands, trailing after him as he turns down one of the corridors. “And here I thought you would miss me.”

“I didn’t ignore you,” he says. “You went on vacation and I didn’t want to bother you.”

“Lies, but it’s fine. I know you were busy with the wedding and your sad excuse of a crush on your best friend. Who, by the way, I still have yet to meet. Like, what the hell? Are you ashamed of me or something?”

Jisung halts so fast that Monday almost crashes into him. “No. Not at all. It just…It hasn’t come up. Do you want to meet him?”

“Meet the guy you’re in love with? Dude, I may be a tomboy, but I’m still a sucker for a love story.”

“Can you,” he lowers his voice, glancing about the hallways, “keep it down? Can we not announce it to the whole student body, please?”

Rolling her eyes, Monday skirts around him to head into their classroom. She pauses at the frame to say, “Please, everyone knows except Chenle at this point. You’re hardly subtle.”

“As if people care about who I like that much,” he counters, heat rising up his neck.

“If you say so.” She shrugs and ducks into the room.

It takes Jisung a little longer to gather himself, taking a deep inhale before following after her. They pick the seats closest to the window, and as he takes his seat, Monday twists around to rest on his desk and smirk at him.

She’s pinned her brown hair up this time, keeping it out of her face full of soft curves and mirth-filled eyes. Monday is pretty. Correction, she’s gorgeous. And, yet, people don’t really pay much attention to it because all they care about is her family. When she puts up her hands to cradle her chin, the edge of her sleeve dips just low enough for him to catch the tip of her Negate tattoo.

“Stop it,” he mutters, opening up his books.

“I’m not doing anything.”

“Yet.”

Monday sticks out her tongue, but then her eyes catch something behind Jisung and the humor falls from her face. Brows furrowed, she slowly straightens up.

Before he can ask, a heavy hand drops on his shoulder and every muscle tenses painfully. The fingers on his shoulder dip in until it hurts.

“Hey, Park. Miss us?”

Jisung doesn’t want to look up. He knows exactly who’s behind him because they always are. Each year nothing changes. So, when he finally turns his head to the boy holding his shoulder, it’s not a surprise, but his body sure feels stunned, unsure what to do or how to react.

Hyuk Won, Wonjun Lee, and Yejun Oh. None of them look particularly scary. They aren’t overly big—in fact, Jisung is taller than all of them except Hyuk—they are more of the flower boy type than anything, and they can so easily turn on the charms to distract anyone from the taunts they’ve put Jisung through. Together, the trio is an intimidating force that Jisung prepares himself every year for.

It’s stupid. He knows that. However, Jisung’s always hated confrontation and without a power to protect himself, that makes the whole thing so much more difficult. Maybe, at first, he tried to fight back, but, after years and years of it, he’s given up.

To make matters worse, Hyuk’s had his powers since he was thirteen and, after that point, it didn’t matter if Jisung fought either way because Hyuk was a puppeteer. He could make Jisung give himself a wedgie or stick his own head in a toilet. Fighting became exhausting when having to deal with someone like that.

As far as Jisung knew, Wonjun and Yejun were still without abilities, but that didn’t take away their upper hand. Both of them came from extremely powerful families, dating back generations on generations. There was no doubt in Jisung’s mind that they would get something soon.

Unfortunately, that put Jisung at a disadvantage. No power, no respect. It’s just how life works.

“We really missed you,” Hyuk says, tilting his head. “You know, I heard you had a birthday in February. I mean, I wouldn’t hold out hope with a family like yours, though.”

“Wait,” Wonjun steps around so he can point at Jisung, eyebrows raised, “you still think you have a chance? Dude, you aren’t getting a power. You might as well do what your Negate buddy over here did and get the tattoo now.”

Monday’s hands immediately fall under the desk, hiding her wrist from view. Despite the action, however, her eyes narrow and jaw tightens. “Leave him alone. He has a chance.”

“Yeah, a snowball’s chance in Hell,” Wonjun states.

“Doesn’t matter anyway,” Hyuk says, eyes never leaving Jisung. “You don’t have anything to use against us, right now. And you don’t want to fight us, do you? Let’s start the year off easy for you. It’s the first day of school. We got to build up to the big stuff, right?”

Yejun chuckles behind his hand and Wonjun smirks. Jisung’s not sure what to expect, but he’s frozen. He can’t move.

“Just go away, Hyuk. Class is about to start,” Monday tries.

“Exactly. I’m running out of time already. So,” he points at Jisung’s textbook, “hit yourself in the face with that.”

“Hyuk!” Monday shouts.

Jisung’s hand moves as if someone is doing it for him. He has no way to stop it, no way to break free. This feeling, this sensation of watching his arm, knowing what will happen, yet having zero control over it, is so familiar by now. Jisung’s lived many years with it happening weekly that by now he just lets it happen. That doesn’t mean he doesn’t feel immense hatred towards Hyuk every time. With trembling fingers, he picks up his textbook.

Letting out a strangled gasp, Monday leaps from her chair. However, she never touches him, her body being pushed back into her chair by a fast-acting Wonjun. Jisung can’t even prepare himself. His textbook hits against his forehead, his nose, and his eye with enough force to rattle his brain and blur his vision. It lands with a solid _thwack_ and nearly bounces out of his hand when he recoils.

“Oh, my god, are you okay?” ask Monday as she shoves Wonjun’s hands off her so she can round Jisung’s desk and check out his face.

Yejun has lost himself in laughter. Jisung can’t pay him any attention, though, because he’s still reeling in pain. His nose is throbbing. He lets Monday turn his head this way and that.

He’s still coming down from being released from Hyuk’s power when he feels his shoulders being taken from behind and lips at his ear. “Welcome back, Park. Let’s talk more later.”

Even though the hands leave him, his body is still filled with tension. Unfortunately, there’s no time to settle in with what just happened because the teacher is walking through the door and Monday is forced back into her seat.

Focusing in class was nearly impossible, especially knowing that Hyuk chose the spot right behind him. He can feel Hyuk’s eyes drilling holes in the back of his head. It takes every fiber in his body not to turn around, to keep his eyes on the board and his teacher.

It’s day one and he’s already got Hyuk starting up with his trouble. It’s only going to get worse, he thinks. This is just the beginning.

“You okay?” Monday asks when class finally ends.

No. He’s not. It’s just one more thing to worry about. One more thing to ruin his life just a smidge more. Even still, Jisung has other things to focus on and Hyuk will be with him until graduation. If he can keep his mouth shut and head down as much as possible, he can maybe make it out with only a few bumps and bruises.

So, he lies. “I’m fine.”

All he can think is how he wishes Chenle was with him because he always knows what to say. But Chenle can never know what’s going on with Hyuk. Not only would it make Chenle upset, but he might try to step in, and Jisung doesn’t want him to. He doesn’t want him to face Hyuk for Jisung’s sake.

In the end, he bites his tongue and lets Hyuk shove him into his desk on the way past. Because that’s all he can do. At least for now.

*

Chenle started basketball the year Mark left. While he’s always liked the game, Jisung never figured he wanted to take it seriously. When Mark left, however, Chenle jumped at the chance and Jisung thinks it might be because he was searching for something to grasp onto that reminded him of Mark.

His reason, of course, doesn’t really matter. Chenle is a star on the floor. He’s not scared to get in there and show people what he’s made of. He’s fast, his aim true. Jisung loves watching him travel from one side to the other even though, after years of watching Mark, Jisung still doesn’t really understand all the rules of the game.

The ball goes into the net and Chenle jumps, shouting out. His voice makes the windows shake and his captain tells him to keep his power under control before the whole gym comes down on them. Jisung can’t help but smile fondly when Chenle waves up at him. He waves back.

Beside him, Monday taps out her fist with a whip noise that echoes a little too far for comfort. “So whipped it’s pathetic.”

“Shut up, Monday.”

Almost always, Jisung comes by himself. He sits up in the bleachers, following Chenle’s every movement until practice comes to an end. Monday usually has afterschool studies or her own sports team to attend to. Today, however, she’s decided to skip her afterschool studies to keep him company. Or so she says. Jisung knows she just has an ulterior motive to meet Chenle for the first time.

“Did you tell him about what happened in class?” asks Monday.

Jisung shakes his head. “He doesn’t need to know. Hyuk’s going to keep at it no matter what.”

“But maybe Chenle could burst his eardrums,” she suggests. A wicked smile crosses her face. “Oh, that would be fun.”

“Remind me never to piss you off.”

Puffing out her cheeks, she turns to watch the practice. “I’m sorry I can’t do much to help. If Hyuk wasn’t around, I could maybe beat up Yejun and Wonjun.”

He has no doubt she could. Wonjun’s got some strength to him, but Monday is scrappy and she could stand her own. Still, he doesn’t want anyone fighting his own battles, so he shakes his head and Monday’s pout deepens.

When practice ends, Chenle jogs up to the bottom of the bleachers. Jisung and Monday make their way down to meet him. Up close, Jisung can see the way Chenle studies Monday from the floor up. There’s something in his expression that’s guarded as he takes her in one inch at a time. Monday isn’t a stranger completely to him. Jisung’s mentioned her before because she’s literally the only friend he has in his class. But Chenle’s never seen her. Not even in pictures.

The moment Chenle tears his eyes off Monday to finally look at Jisung, he beams. Even dripping with sweat with his hair sticking to his skin, he looks perfect to Jisung and he feels a bit offended.

“Hi, I’m Monday,” she greets, giving him a tiny wave. As Chenle opens his mouth, she adds, “And you’re Chenle and I’ve heard so much about you. Like, insane amounts. I probably could tell you your life’s story—”

“Monday,” Jisung hisses.

She doesn’t seem to care, though. She smiles as if she’s told the greatest joke in the world. Jisung can only shake his head.

“Nice to,” Chenle raises a brow, “meet you? Um,” he sneaks a peek at Jisung, “I’m going to go shower. Wait for me?”

“Always do,” Jisung says.

Chenle nods and rushes off to the change rooms. As they wait, Monday lays out along the bleachers, attention on her phone. Jisung paces.

“I can feel you stressing from here,” Monday mumbles.

“I’m not stressing. I’m waiting.”

He doesn’t get a reply, but that’s okay. He doesn’t want one. He wants to wait in silence. After a few more minutes, Chenle comes jogging back toward them, freshly showered, smelling of citrus, and back in his school uniform. His collar is wet from the tips of his dripping hair.

“Thanks for waiting,” he says, shrugging his bag. “So, ice cream? Are you coming, Monday?”

“I can walk with you to the bus stop, but then I’ve got to bounce. I’m just here to finally meet the famous Chenle Zhong.”

Chenle’s smile is somewhat startled, and when he looks at Jisung, his one eyebrow is raised. “How much do you talk about me?”

“All the fucking time,” groans Monday as she sits up. “Like I said, I know your freaking life story, dude. I mean, you sound amazing. It’s all good things.”

“Can you not?” Jisung shoots at her, eyes wide. “Honestly. This is why I ignored you for two months.”

“I thought it was because I went on vacation.”

He has this sudden urge to hiss at her like an angry cat, but he holds back because, _geez_ , he’s not an animal. Sometimes, Monday is like a female Donghyuck and one Donghyuck is enough.

“Let’s just go,” he grumbles.

He can hear Monday snickering as he marches toward the door with the other two trailing behind him. Chenle’s asking Monday about herself, about her relationship with Jisung. They hit it off almost immediately and Jisung’s not sure if that’s a good thing or not.

“He’s like my annoying brother, you know? Like a twin you get stuck with,” Monday’s saying as they make their way through the parking lot. “Love him to bits, though. Jisung’s just such a cutie.”

“You don’t have to hang out with me,” Jisung says.

Monday throws herself on his back. It takes him a split second to decide to catch her, instead of letting her fall, and grabs her legs to hoist her into a piggy back.

“Didn’t you hear me? You’re like my brother. Can’t get rid of me now,” she sings. “Chenle, you’re going to have to tell me all the embarrassing stories you have on Jisung, got it? Leave no stone unturned.”

“Chenle, don’t you dare,” Jisung warns.

Chenle, of course, doesn’t really listen because he’s nodding to Monday with a not-so-subtle wink. “You got it.”

“I hate everyone,” he sighs.

“No, you don’t,” Chenle says, reaching out to touch Jisung’s arm. He almost flinches away, but he can’t because he can’t drop Monday. “You love me, right?”

His heart stutters against his chest, hands starting to sweat as Chenle gazes up at him, and he knows he needs to say something. Anything. Because if he doesn’t, it’ll be so obvious just how speechless Chenle can make him.

Suddenly, Monday pinches his shoulder and he yelps, fingers flexing open. Monday drops. Both Jisung and Chenle reach out to steady her as she stumbles backwards.

“Sorry, sorry!” he says. Monday shoots him a glare. “What? You pinched me.”

“You weren’t supposed to drop me!”

“What did you think would happen?”

Chenle snorts, gaining both of their attention. He presses a hand to his mouth just as peels of laughter pour out of him. It’s high, loud, and vibrates Jisung’s eardrums. Monday slams her hands over her ears. Luckily, Jisung’s used to Chenle’s power by now that he can withstand it just a little longer than anyone else.

He puts his hands over Chenle’s, trying to block even more sound from coming out. “Shush,” he orders. “Chenle, stop. _Stop_.”

It takes a bit of time, but Chenle’s laughter turns into hiccups and Jisung finally steps away with a heavy sigh. “Sorry,” he says, sheepishly. “I can’t control it when it’s so sudden.”

“Wow, you’ve got a voice,” Monday says as she lowers her hands. “I knew you were strong, but holy. Hey, are my ears bleeding?”

“You’re fine,” Jisung tells her. “And I think that’s your bus.”

Monday’s whips around. “Oh, yeah. Okay, well, nice to meet you, Chenle. We’ll have to get together and talk all things Jisung, yeah?”

“Agreed.”

“Chenle!”

Laughing, Monday starts toward the oncoming bus. “Bye, loves! See you later!”

“She’s a character,” Chenle says as soon as she’s disappeared. “I like her.”

“Oh, great. Just what I need. I knew you guys never should have met.”

Chenle purses his lips. “You like her, right?”

“I guess? I mean, she’s pretty awesome. When she’s not driving me up the wall, I mean.”

“No, um,” he puts a hand on Jisung’s elbow, “I meant, _like her_ like her.”

A cold chill shoots down his spine. Jisung’s frozen to the sidewalk. “Wh—What? No! No, no. No, I don’t. She’s not really—We don’t—She’s definitely like my sister. She’s not really my type, you know?”

“No, I don’t know. You never talk about those kinds of things. Whenever we start to, you tense up.” Chenle frowns. “Is there, like, a reason you don’t want to talk to me about it?”

Jisung automatically shakes his head, but deep down he knows exactly why he never talks about it, especially with Chenle. His feelings don’t match with everyone else’s. They’re so excited about kissing and being intimate and finding people sexy, and Jisung just doesn’t feel that. He never really has.

It’s always been about seeing the beauty in someone, wanting to care for them in a way that didn’t include having to be sexual. And those feelings have always been about Chenle. Wanting to hold his hand, to hug him, to be that pillar of support for him.

“It’s not that,” he says. “I just don’t really have anything to say about it. It’s not really something I think a lot about.”

Bullshit. Utter bullshit. But Chenle doesn’t know that.

“Oh, okay. You know you can tell me anything, right?”

The way he says it makes Jisung believe that maybe Chenle has an inkling on what’s going on. His dark eyes are studying Jisung as if he’s already got the majority figured out, yet needs that one final piece. Jisung tries to keep his gaze downward, not sure if he can really handle complete eye contact right now.

“Yeah,” he breathes. “Yeah, of course, I do. If I’m going to go to anyone, it would be you. You know that.”

“So,” Chenle juts his chin to where the bus used to be, “not Monday?”

He coughs a laugh. “Definitely not Monday.”

“Well, then,” Chenle says as he links his arm through Jisung’s. The warmth of his body seeps through his clothing. “Ice cream?”

“Can never say no to that.”

“You really can’t, can you?”

He can also never say no to Chenle. That part is terribly obvious. Fortunately, Chenle is good enough not to misuse that power.

Jisung knows that, sooner or later, he’s going to have to admit what’s going on with him. For now, Chenle’s being kind. He’s not pressing. He’s watching and waiting for Jisung to come to him before anything will be said. And something _will_ be said. Chenle’s not going to hold back much longer and Jisung knows he doesn’t want the confrontation. He wants to tell on his own terms.

The problem is, he just can’t make himself do it. He can’t tell Chenle that having powers is like live or die for him. He can’t tell Chenle that he’s practically in love with him. He can’t tell Chenle that, even though he wants to date him, that Jisung feels like vomiting whenever he thinks about kissing or more. He can hardly admit it to himself. To unload all that onto Chenle is a whole new ballgame he’s not sure he knows how to play.

His only hope is to unlock a new ability and relieve just a bit of stress. He’s desperately holding onto that hope he’s not even sure he should have. 

In fact, he’s a hundred percent sure he definitely shouldn’t.

*

Chenle doesn’t go home like he usually does. Instead, he follows Jisung home, scraping his bowl of ice cream and not even talking about it, even when Jisung raises a brow in question.

They trail along the sidewalk of his small, modest neighborhood. It’s nothing like Chenle’s. There’s nothing fancy or overly clean about it. Just a family-friendly, middle-class street that Jisung knows inside and out.

As they get closer to his place, he catches sight of Donghyuck’s aunt and uncle heading into their house across the street. He sees them on occasion. Of course, he doesn’t say anything to them. Not that he’d want to. He knows how awful they treated him and that makes him want nothing to do with them. At least he can sleep knowing they’ve lost both their son and their nephew because of their god-awful personalities.

He can hear his mother’s hushed voice as soon as he gets the door open. He can’t catch any words, but it sounds serious and that has him on high alert. So, he gestures for Chenle to wait in the tiny foyer before making his way down the hall to the kitchen.

“—if I lose it then we’re screwed,” his mother is saying. “I just can’t believe this. No, wait, I can believe this. He’s an asshole.”

“Sooyoung,” comes his grandmother’s voice, a little warning and a lot tired.

“No, he is, mom,” she continues. “To threaten me like that? He’s bringing this—this _man_ in to try and intimidate me. I have a strong belief that he’s going to fire me.”

There’s a sigh in the direction of the table. “If he does, we’ll figure something out.”

“Like what, mom? It’s already hard enough to get a good job as a Negate. No one wants us,” she says. “Unless it’s for labor or something. They’re going to take one look at me and send me off because I’m marked.”

Jisung worries his bottom lip. His mom’s worked hard to get her job as an assistant to the manager. She’s proved herself to so many people just to get a full-time, decently paid job. The issue is that her boss is a jerk. He doesn’t care about Jisung’s mom. He’s bossy, entitled, and a complete egomaniac. How she’s managed to stay this long is a miracle.

She’s right, if she does lose her job, finding a new one will be hard. Negates can be just as intelligent as a power user, but, without a power, they aren’t seen as much. They’re also paid less and that can cause problems for some people. People like single mothers with a teenage son and an elderly mother.

He knocks on the doorframe to gain their attention, effectively cutting his mother off mid-sentence. Wide-eyed, she spins on him.

“Oh, Jisung. You’re back already?” She glances at the clock on the stove.

“I brought Chenle with me,” he says. “We’re going to go up to my room for a bit.”

“Chenle’s here?” his grandmother perks up from her spot at the table. “Chenle! Come see me, you adorable thing you!”

Before Jisung can move, Chenle is barreling his way through the doorway toward Jisung’s grandmother to hug her. The laugh that comes from her is full of joy and it makes Jisung smile.

“Wow, you don’t need to be so obvious about replacing me,” he teases, crossing his arms over his chest.

Chenle winks at him. “We all love you, too. Don’t worry.”

“Are you boys hungry at all?” Jisung’s mom asks.

They both shake their heads. Jisung knows that if he doesn’t get Chenle out of there now, they’re going to get stuck, so he lets his mother ask Chenle how he’s been and how his parents are. Then, he takes Chenle by the wrist and pulls him away.

“I was having fun,” Chenle whines as Jisung tugs him into his room and closes the door. “I love your family.”

“They’re pretty great,” he agrees. “But you can’t have them. They’re mine.”

Dropping onto Jisung’s bed, Chenle smiles at him. “Whatever you say.”

Jisung puts his bag near the desk and moves to sit beside Chenle. As he leans against the wall, he can’t help but think about what his mom was talking about. If she loses her job, they’re in trouble. She’s the only one that brings in money and it’s just enough for them to live in this house. They scrape the bottom of the barrel. He’s always been aware of that.

It’s just never felt like that could be taken away. Now, it does. It makes his hands shake.

“What’s wrong?” Chenle asks, crawling over so he can sit right next to him. “You’re stressing. You’re always stressing lately.”

“There’s a lot to be stressed about.”

“Is there?”

Jisung doesn’t want to look at Chenle because, if he does, he might crack. He digs his fingers into his sheets, trying to grip onto something to calm his nerves. Except, he doesn’t get to keep himself preoccupied with how soft they feel beneath his fingertips because there’s a hand on his jaw, turning his head so he has no choice but to gaze straight into Chenle’s eyes. It steals his breath away.

Silence rests on their shoulders. It filters into Jisung’s ears, thrumming as if he were underwater. Chenle eyes flick between Jisung’s, searching. His hand is warm and kind of clammy against Jisung’s skin, but he doesn’t mind. The way Chenle’s lips tighten into a straight line make Jisung wonder if he discovered what he had been searching for.

Jisung reaches up, taking Chenle’s hand in his and slowly lowers it to his lap. “It’s okay. It’s just the usual.”

“The usual meaning what?” Chenle asks, brows furrowing. “You can’t keep bottling things up. We all know how that ends. Look at our friends.”

He can’t stop the snort that slips through his lips. Still, he keeps mum because he’s not sure he can really explain anything in his mind right now. Chenle’s looking at him, expecting him to say something. Anything.

“Can I ask you a personal question?” he ventures.

Chenle blinks. “I guess.”

“Have you, um, like—” He cuts himself off with a heavy sigh. This is so much harder than he thought it would be. Trying to give himself more time, he shifts so he can face Chenle head on. He’s hoping it might make it better, but, to be honest, he thinks it makes it a little more terrifying. “Uh, like, have you ever, you know, um…”

“You’re giving me a lot of various scenarios right now and I’m not sure which one you’re trying to grasp at,” Chenle says with a soft chuckle. “Maybe if you just blurt it out?”

“Kissed someone,” he nearly shouts. His eyes flick nervously to the door before returning back to Chenle, who sits there in stunned silence, eyes wide and mouth slightly agape. “Sorry. That was really aggressive. Um, I just wondered if you had ever kissed someone before.”

It takes a moment for Chenle to snap out of it. His eyelashes flutter for a few seconds, his mouth opening and closing as if he’s trying to make sense of what Jisung’s just asked him. Then, he gives Jisung a half-smile and says, “I would have told you if I had.”

“Oh,” Jisung breathes, adverting his attention to his hands. He twists his fingers around, nerves still on high alert. “I didn’t know if you would or not.”

“Is that what this is all about? Because you haven’t kissed someone?”

“No. Well, kind of. A bit?” He wants to slap himself for how silly he’s sounding. His heart’s found residence in his throat. It pounds uncomfortably. “Do you—Do you want to?”

“Kiss someone? Or kiss you?”

Jisung recoils, breath caught in his lungs. It burns. Blood floods from his face as he stares at Chenle. “What?” he squeaks.

Raising a brow, Chenle says, “I was just curious.”

He doesn’t seem all that bothered and that makes Jisung even more bothered himself. It’s entirely unfair how calm Chenle’s taking this. Despite his overall bubbly personality, there are times Chenle falls solemn, serious, and it’s those moments that throw Jisung for a loop. He’s not used to those moments.

“Do you? Want to that is?” Chenle inquires, tilting his head. When Jisung winces, he adds, “Kiss someone, I mean. Just, in general.”

Jisung knows the answer, yet he can’t bring himself to say it. It feels weird to shake his head and turn down the option. However, deep down, he knows he won’t like it. There’s nothing about kissing that compels him to _want_ to do it. It sounds gross. He knows it’ll feel gross and weird. His whole body is tensing up even thinking about it. But he wants to reach over and hold Chenle’s hand. He thinks that’s much more romantic then swapping spit.

He’s just not sure what Chenle will say about it.

“Not really,” he admits, quietly. “No. I don’t think so.”

The words are out before he can stop them. He waits for Chenle to make a face, to tell him he’s being a baby, that he’s being weird. It never comes. Chenle simply nods in understanding and smiles one of his smiles that lights Jisung up from the inside.

“That’s okay,” he says. “I figured.”

“H-How?”

“Because the mere mention of it makes you look like you’re about to vomit,” Chenle laughs. Jisung buries his face in his hands. “It’s okay! Don’t worry. Some people just aren’t into that sort of thing. There’s nothing wrong with it. Hey, stop hiding.”

Sighing, Jisung drops his hands and lifts his head so he can blink up at the ceiling. “This is so embarrassing.”

“Why?”

Chenle’s question startles him.

“There’s nothing wrong with it. There’s nothing embarrassing about not wanting to be sexually intimate. It’s a preference, okay?” He takes Jisung’s face in his hands, so he’s forced to look at him. “There’s nothing wrong or embarrassing about you. Got it?”

“What if I’m just being a child about it? Jaemin and Jeno have no problems with it. Renjun’s kissed someone, and so has Mark. Hell, Donghyuck’s kissed someone before. _Donghyuck_. What if I’m just being scared for no reason?”

“Jisung, if you want to kiss someone, kiss someone. If you don’t, don’t. It’s not hard. No one is going to judge you for it. And if they do, I’ll pop their eardrums.” Jisung snorts. “I’m serious. I’m here if you need anything at all. You know that. I’m your best friend for a reason.”

“Would you kiss me?”

Chenle’s fingers twitch against the sides of his face when he inhales sharply. Jisung clamps his mouth closed. It’s such a traitor. He feels utterly betrayed.

“You—you don’t have to. Please, don’t think you need to,” he adds, hurriedly.

Eyes flicking to Jisung’s lips, Chenle asks, “Do you want me to?”

“Maybe,” he breathes.

He thinks that if he can’t kiss the one person he’s in love with, he won’t be able to kiss anyone, and maybe it’s worth the experiment. Then again, does he want to take the chance of possibly ruining his relationship with Chenle by doing this? Is this really worth it?

Chenle, however, doesn’t seem to question it. He keeps studying Jisung’s eyes, his lips, like he’s waiting for Jisung to make a definitive answer. So, he rests his hands on Chenle’s thighs and nods.

It doesn’t take much more for Chenle to lean the rest of the distance to press his lips to Jisung’s. The first thing he notices is how soft Chenle’s lips are, how much he tastes of Rocky Road ice cream, and just how gentle he is about the whole thing. He’s not trying to get into Jisung’s space any more than he already is and Jisung’s kind of happy about that because, _god_ , he feels just a little dizzy.

The hands on his face drift down to his neck, one resting against his nape to pull him in just slightly. It makes their lips slot together more than just a chaste peck and Jisung tenses. He’s so tense that it’s starting to become painful. He presses his hand against Chenle’s thigh.

Luckily, Chenle gets the message and leans away, their lips separating with a soft sound that seems so much louder than it should. Jisung takes in short, shallow breathes, trying to calm his churning stomach.

Fuck, he thinks. _Fuck, no_.

Grinding his teeth, he drops his head against Chenle’s shoulder. He feels Chenle’s thumb brushing against the skin of his neck while the other rubs circles into his back. His eyes are burning, but he can’t cry. He’s not going to cry over this.

It’s unfair. So fucking unfair. He just wants to kiss Chenle and get excited to go farther, to kiss him without feeling like he wants to bolt in the other direction, without feeling weird about it after. It’s Chenle. It’s supposed to be perfect, but it doesn’t feel like it. It feels wrong even though he knows it’s right.

“It’s okay,” Chenle whispers. “It’s okay.”

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay.”

He’s not sure how long they stay like that, but it’s long enough because soon the sun is going down and Chenle’s pulling away with one of his gentle smiles and whispering a goodbye. Once he’s gone, Jisung buries himself under the covers, never wanting to leave.

For once in his life, he just wants one thing in his life to go right.

But maybe that’s just too much to ask for.

*

Jisung isn’t avoiding Chenle.

He’s not.

His life has just become a bit more complicated in the next couple weeks and, unfortunately, his time with Chenle has kind of suffered. At least, that’s what he tells himself. Because if you asked Monday, or Chenle, or any of his other friends, he’s most definitely avoiding.

It’s not like he can help it, though. At first, after that kiss, they tried to pretend like it didn’t happen. Or, well, that’s what Jisung thought they were doing, anyway. He never mentioned it and neither did Chenle. They simply went on with their life.

However, the more the days went on, the more nervous Jisung became. He’s waiting for Chenle to bring it up again. There’s an underlining horror that’s attached itself to his insides and the anticipation is eating away at him. So, he does what he can to minimalize his time with Chenle.

They meet briefly before class, and Jisung’s given way too many excuses in order to skip lunch and eat in the boys’ bathroom stall, and he skips Chenle’s practices all together. It’s obvious what he’s doing, but he tries to keep himself innocent because he’s not sure how else to handle it.

The one problem is, he can’t be by himself. If he is, his thoughts take over and he’s left wallowing in self-pity. That’s how he finds himself camped out on Saturday morning in Jaemin and Jeno’s bedroom. He’s taken residence on the floor at the end of the bed because there’s no way he’s getting into it, knowing exactly who his two friends are, and stolen the blanket off the couch in the living room to cocoon himself in. Plus, some of Mark’s ice cream from the freezer. The empty container sits next to him.

He likes their room. Jaemin’s plants have taken over. They’re on almost every surface, making the place feel more like a jungle than a bedroom. Jeno’s bike is up on the wall with Jaemin’s, and there are piles of textbooks on his bedside table. It’s cluttered, but homey.

Jaemin brings him a hot chocolate and sits at his side. “You want to talk about it?”

Shaking his head, Jisung covers up his head and hides. He’s being a child and he knows it, but, _damn it_ , let him be a child. It’s not like he’s an adult. Jaemin, however, is not about to let him do that, so he wrestles the blanket away from his face and yanks him into a hug. Jisung curls his lanky limbs into Jaemin’s lap.

“Does this have anything to do with the fact that Chenle’s been over here, rambling in Mandarin to Renjun, almost every evening this week?” Jaemin guesses.

“He’s been here?” Jisung asks, trying his best to deflect.

“And rambling in Mandarin,” Jaemin repeats because, yeah, that’s a valuable piece of information. Chenle doesn’t usually revert to his main language unless he’s super over-excited or very, very upset. Jisung presses his head against Jaemin’s chest. “Did you two fight?”

“No.”

“So, what’s going on then?”

“I don’t know.”

Jaemin pinches his arm. Even through the blanket it hurts. “Don’t lie to me. Something’s happened and you’re hiding it from me.”

“Maybe if you were around more often, I wouldn’t need to.”

The words don’t have much bite to them, but they still make Jaemin flinch. He tightens his grasp on Jisung and says, “I’m sorry. School’s been kicking our butts, huh? I promise we’re still here, okay? You can come bug us whenever you want. Even Donghyuck. Please, go bug Donghyuck. He’s being an ass.”

“Nana!” Jisung gasps at the swear word, since Jaemin never curses if he can help it. Jaemin waves him off. He settles with a sigh. “I didn’t mean anything bad by it. I know it’s hard with your schedules. I just miss hanging out as a group and school isn’t the same and there’s just so much happening.”

“Like what?”

Jisung stares at his fingers. They hold onto the blanket until his knuckles turn white. “Chenle and I kissed.”

“What?” Jaemin yells, suddenly taking Jisung by the shoulders and forcing him away so he can stare Jisung directly in the eyes. “What? When? Why? Where?”

“What do you mean where?”

“Jisung Park!”

“It was a couple weeks ago,” he mutters. “It just sort of happened. We were talking about kissing people and then we just…did? I don’t know. It was weird.”

“Weird?”

“Sort of?” He wrinkles his nose when the phantom touch of Chenle’s lips makes his own tingle. Subconsciously, he touches his mouth. “I don’t know how to explain it.”

“Did you enjoy it?”

Jisung doesn’t hesitate to shake his head. He’s too tired to try and pretend he did and he knows Jaemin will just see right through it.

“Did he do something you didn’t like?” Jaemin’s brow furrows as he takes Jisung’s hands in his. “If he did—”

“No!” Jisung shouts. “No, no, he was perfect. He…I like him, Nana. A lot. But I didn’t like kissing him. I don’t think I’ll like kissing anyone.”

“Did you tell him that?”

“Not in so many words.”

Jaemin lets him go to rub his eyes with the heels of his hands. “Jisung, what am I going to do with you? You have to tell him that. He thinks you hate him, according to Renjun. Avoiding him is going to give him all kinds of ideas that aren’t true.”

“Well, he knows that I don’t really want to kiss anyone. I told him as much. But, I guess, I didn’t really tell him I liked him. It just happened so fast, you know? Besides, what good is that going to do? He’s going to want someone who will do all that partner-y stuff with him and I just,” he sighs, “don’t want to do it. It makes me feel strange. Not like how it should.”

“You need to at least explain it to him. He’s your best friend. He’ll understand.”

“Will he?”

“Learn from our experiences and don’t avoid your issues. And don’t avoid Chenle. Sooner or later, he’s going to hunt you down. You know that, right?”

Jisung nods, biting into his lower lip. “I know.”

A knock comes at the door and they both turn to see Mark and Renjun. Neither one of them appear like they’re going out today, judging by their sweatpants and hoodies. Together, they move into the room and take a spot across from Jaemin and Jisung.

Mark brushes one of the tendrils from Jaemin’s vine-like plant off his shoulder. “Hey, how’s it going?”

“Do you want to explain or should I?” Jaemin asks. Jisung scratches the nape of his neck. Then, he shakes his head. “Fine. Jisung and Chenle kissed.” Jisung squawks at the bluntness. “And, instead of explaining to Chenle that he’s asexual, yet still wants to date Chenle, he’s just been avoiding him for weeks. As if that will make the whole thing disappear.”

“Wow,” Mark breathes. “That’s, um, unexpected.”

“Are you saying you didn’t see how in love Jisung was with Chenle? It was the most obvious thing in the world,” Renjun puts in with a roll of his eyes. When Jisung gapes at him, he adds, “If it makes you feel any better, Chenle still doesn’t really get it, so you’re safe. Although, he’s always had an inkling you liked him. He just didn’t want to say anything about it until you did. You two are almost bad as Jeno and Jaemin.”

“Hey,” Jaemin says. “We both know there’s a worse couple than Jeno and me.”

Renjun purses his lips in thought and then nods. “True.”

“Wait, who?” Mark asks, eyes bouncing between Renjun and Jaemin.

Jaemin sighs. “Never mind. Not the point. The point is that Jisung needs to not avoid Chenle and talk to him.”

“I’m sure he’ll understand,” Mark says.

“That’s what I told him.”

Wrapping his arms around his legs, Jisung curls himself into a ball and says, “I guess I’m just worried about if he doesn’t.”

“Look, this isn’t really any of our business, but have you ever thought about how Chenle feels? He’s known that there’s been something bothering you for months and he’s been waiting for you to come to him, which is kind of impressive when you think about it because Chenle’s always been the type of person to sort of dig his nose into everything,” Renjun tells him. “I think he just really wants to talk to you. He wants you to open up to him. He’s ready for you to do that.”

“But what if he doesn’t like what I have to say?”

“This is Chenle. The boy is as sweet at a gummy bear. Why do you think that’s his nickname? He wouldn’t hurt a fly and he most definitely wouldn’t hurt you. He cares too much about you to lose you.”

Jaemin puts an arm around Jisung. “For once, Renjun is right—”

“What do you mean ‘for once’?”

“Chenle won’t just drop you,” he continues as if Renjun hadn’t said a word. “And if he does, you’ve got the five of us to whip some sense into him.”

Mark shifts so he’s seated on Jisung’s other side. “I know it seems like a lot is happening all at once, but you aren’t alone. We’re here for you every step of the way. Whether you get a power or not. Whether you want to be with someone or not. Nothing will change how we feel about you. You’re our little brother.” He ruffles Jisung’s hair. “You’re kind of stuck with us.”

“It’s true,” Renjun says. “I’ve been trying to escape for years.”

“Injunnie,” gasps Jaemin. “You love us. Don’t even try to ignore it.”

Renjun shrugs. “For all I know, it’s like Stockholm syndrome.”

Jisung bursts into laughter and Renjun smiles, eyes twinkling like he’s proud he managed to get that reaction. He leans against Jaemin as his chuckles die off. He misses this. This time together. It’s so much harder to get when they aren’t in school together. It makes him super worried about what will happen when he’s left all alone in the hallways of his high school next year.

He wants to mention how that’s also worrying him, how he’s terrified they’re all going to forget about him, but there’s a knock on the front door and Renjun gets up to answer it.

“Where is he?”

Jisung grabs Jaemin’s arm at the sound of the familiar tone, the slightly accented Korean. He waits with bated breath for Chenle to round the doorframe. When he does, his dark eyes directly fall onto Jisung. He puts his hands on his hips, the glare decorating his face intimidatingly.

“So, I was fully willing to give you a few days to figure your shit out, but then a week went by and then a couple of other days and I thought to myself, ‘No, this is getting ridiculous.’ So, here I am after going to your house, only to realize you’ve come here, and I’m ready to get some kind of explanation and there better be a fucking good explanation, Jisung Park,” Chenle says. It’s so fast that Jisung doesn’t think he took in any air at all.

“Language, Chenle,” Jaemin says as he manages to get Jisung to release his arm so he can stand up. “I guess we’ll give you two some time to talk.”

“Nana,” Jisung hisses.

Jaemin shakes his head. “No, you need to sort this out. Come on, guys.”

Mark and Renjun follow him out, closing the door behind them. From the edge of the dresser, Chenle stares down at Jisung, eyes bright and narrow. Jisung wants to look away, but he can’t. There’s something about the way Chenle stands there in his casual jeans and t-shirt, with orange hair bright as a lighthouse beacon, that draws in his attention with no way to let it go.

Swallowing thickly, Jisung says, “Hi.”

Air explodes out of Chenle and he drops to the floor, crossing his legs in the process. He perches his chin in his hand and puffs out his cheeks. “I just can’t stay mad at you.”

The smile Jisung gives him is wary. “Thank you?”

“Don’t get me wrong,” he says, “I’m still upset. Avoiding me? Jisung, we aren’t twelve. You have to talk to me.”

Adverting his eyes to his hands, he mutters, “I know. I’m sorry.”

“So, what’s going on? Is it because of the kiss? Did I scare you off that badly?”

“Wh—No! Of course not,” he argues. “That’s not it at all. You didn’t do anything wrong. It’s just me.”

“I thought we talked about how you were fine.”

Jisung nods. “We did.”

Sighing, Chenle crawls over to Jisung. He lifts the end of the blanket and slips under, snuggling in close. Automatically, Jisung shifts so he can get comfortable against his side. It’s so warm, so nice.

“No more avoiding me,” Chenle orders. “Okay? I want my best friend back and I’m not going to let some silly kiss get in the way of that. Deal?”

“Deal.”

“Is there anything else I should know?”

He weighs his options and finally chooses that maybe now isn’t the time to talk about it all. So, he says, “No. Not right now.”

“Good. Now, we’re going to stay like this for a bit longer and then I’m going to drop you off at home and you’re going to call me tonight so we can play video games and you’re going to come to every practice I have this week and eat every lunch with me. No excuses. Got it?”

“Yes, sir.”

Chenle rests his head on Jisung’s shoulder. “I missed you, Sungie.”

Closing his eyes and settling into the warmth, he whispers, “I missed you, too.”

*

Jisung isn’t expecting his mom to be home when he arrives back from the apartments, Chenle waving him off in the back of his Tesla. Yet, there she is, at the dining table with a mug of tea in between her hands. Her eyes are a little red around the edges and her lips downturned. When she spots Jisung in the doorframe, her eyebrows pull inward a bit and her bottom lip trembles. From beside her, his grandmother takes her hand and shoots Jisung a sad smile.

“Mom? What’s going on?” he asks, stepping gingerly toward the table. 

She opens her mouth, but no sound comes out. Instead, it’s his grandmother who answers. “Your mother lost her job today.”

A tear escapes from one her eye and she hurriedly wipes it away. “It’ll be okay,” she manages to say, her voice a little worse for wear. “I’ve already,” she takes a shaky breath, “I already started looking for a new job, but without income…Baby, I don’t think we’ll be able to stay here much longer.”

Jisung grips the back of the chair. “We have to move?”

“I’m so sorry,” she says. “I tried so hard. They didn’t want me anymore. They found someone better for the job.”

“A power user, you mean?” he grounds out.

“Jisung—”

“This is because your boss is an asshole, who hates Negates, isn’t it?”

His grandmother frowns. “Watch your mouth, Jisung. Now isn’t the time to get like this. We need to keep it together, understood? We do this together.”

“I’ll find something,” his mother promises. “I will.”

He wants to say something encouraging, to tell her it’ll be okay, but he’s not sure any of that will help. This isn’t something they can control. His mother can’t suddenly get a power. She’ll forever be a Negate and that will always hinder her experience in life.

Just like it will for him.

Jisung turns away and starts toward his room. He’s eyes follow along the hardwood and the family-portraits on the walls. He’s going to have to leave this place, his home. It wrenches at his heart. He wants to scream, to cry, to sink into his bed and never come out.

Nothing is going right. He didn’t know why he thought it would.

He goes to bed that night with a bad taste in his mouth and his mind reminding him that he’ll forever fall short of everyone else every time.

By morning, he’s sore and tired. He wants to stay in bed and forget about the world. His mother is up and making breakfast, talking about how she’s going to go job hunting. There’s something in there about looking for a new, cheaper place, but Jisung ignores it. He’s not moving. This is his home and he doesn’t want to leave it until it’s necessary.

He leaves for school with very few words. His mom knows he’s sulking and doesn’t bother to try and bring him out of it. It’s probably the best call.

By the time he gets to school, Chenle is already sitting against his locker, head rested on his knees with his eyes closed. He’s fallen asleep, no doubt having been there for a while. When Jisung makes it over, he squats down and gives Chenle a little shake. It takes a few tries, a couple times of calling his name, but then Chenle’s eyelashes flutter.

“Sungie?”

“Morning, sleepy head. You’re early,” he says, moving so he can sit against the lockers.

Chenle nods, still a little dopey. His eyes barely want to open. “I asked to be dropped off early. We don’t get a lot of time together and I’m always rushing off to class almost as soon as I get here. Figured I could give us a few more minutes.”

“We’re practically joined at the hip,” Jisung laughs. “How many more minutes do you want?”

“All of them.”

Chenle must have realized how it sounded because his cheeks bloom pink and he glues his eyes to his shoes. Jisung’s not sure how to reply to that. In all honesty, he wouldn’t mind giving Chenle all the minutes he had if it were possible. Nothing would make him happier.

Clearing his throat, Chenle shifts until his legs are stretched out. He nearly trips a girl on the way. She hisses at him—a sound true of a cat—and he flips his hands up in mock surrender until she stalks away.

“So, how’s it going?” Jisung asks, almost a little too awkwardly. They spend all this time together, but with everything going on, Jisung’s starting to feel like he’s losing his touch. He thinks it’s because of everything happening in his head. It’s starting to take over his conversational skills.

“Good?” Chenle replies with a lift to his tone. He lets out a sound that sounds half-way through a scoff and a chuckle as he leans into Jisung’s side. “You’re being weird.”

“I’m not being weird,” he counters.

Chenle pokes him in the side. “You are. You sounded so weird.” His eyes run over Jisung’s face. “Rough morning?”

For a moment, just a moment, Jisung had forgotten about everything with his mom and her job. Now, it’s rushing back and he can feel his mood sour. It creates a bad taste in his mouth. But he doesn’t want to think about it. Not right now.

So, he forces a smile—one he knows Chenle can see right through—and says, “Could have been worse. Clearly, you’ve struggled. You hate getting up early.”

“Meh, it was worth it, I think.”

Jisung purses his lips. Chenle’s always smiley and positive, so when he’s serious or tired, it doesn’t feel right. Being his friend for so many years, he’s gotten used to all the sides of Chenle. Still, he doesn’t like it. Chenle is made to smile, not to frown.

“Are _you_ okay?” he asks.

Chenle’s eyes widen. “Me?”

“Yeah. Anything you want to talk about?”

Pulling his legs back so they’re resting against his chest, Chenle says, “Dad’s been talking again.”

Oh.

“What’s he focusing on this time?”

“University. Applications. Programs.” He says the words as if they’re ways to die. There’s no thrill. Just utter devastation. “He wants me to take a position at the company, too. It’s a lot.”

Chenle’s family is just as much old money as it is new money. Starting out as a high-class family, generations ago, they’ve turned to investments and stocks, as well as running businesses. They have their hands in toy companies to owning apartments. They’ve taken every opportunity they can to make more money—from China to Korea, they thrive.

And while it’s impressive, it’s a lot of stress for the only child of the Zhong family. He has cousins. Cousins who will take over certain branches of the business. However, Chenle is at the forefront. Everything will be in his hands the moment his grandfather and father decide to step down. He’ll need to know everything.

Chenle’s never been a businessman. Creativity is where his mind is. He sings, dances, flows with life. He isn’t the kind of person to dictate or sit behind a desk. It would be stifling.

Still, Chenle doesn’t have much choice. Well, he does, but he doesn’t want to take it. Even if he has no heart in business, he has his whole heart in his family. Jisung knows that Chenle has plans. Plans that may not be traditional, but may be more Chenle than anything else.

“I want to do them proud,” he says, quietly. “But there’s all these expectations and I don’t know if I can do it.”

“If anyone can, it’s you. You have so many brilliant ideas. I have no doubt that you’ll be able to bring the company to a whole new level.”

Chenle sighs. “Maybe. I just don’t know if they’ll be up for most of it, you know? I don’t want to be the Zhong to bring the whole thing down. Could you imagine? That would be horrible. I would have ruined generations of building up our name and—”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” Jisung interrupts, turning so he can face Chenle and take his hand. It’s cold. “How about you worry about that after you have more training and you’re actually part of the company, huh? In fact, how about you don’t worry about that at all because it won’t happen. I know you, and I know you would never do anything to ruin something your family’s done. Never. Not in your life.”

“It’s a lot of pressure,” he whispers, eyeing their hands joined on his lap. “Just so much pressure.”

“Maybe, but you’ve always done well under pressure,” Jisung says. Chenle coughs a laugh. “It’s true. Besides, you won’t know anything until you’re actually in the thick of it, right?”

“I guess.”

“You’re going to do well, Chenle. I have no doubts in you and your abilities.”

Chenle squeezes his hand, a soft smile on his lips. “Thank you.”

“Anytime,” he says. “I’m always here if you need help. Hell, I can be your secretary or something. I mean, I’m going to be desperate for a job if I don’t get a power.”

A frown forms on Chenle’s brow. Jisung had meant for it to come off as funny. Just a little joke. Too bad his tone slips just a smidge and it comes off tinged with bitterness.

“You’ll get one,” Chenle states.

“How do you know?”

“Because I do. You’ll get an ability and it’ll be amazing. Nothing short of who you are.”

Jisung can feel his ears warm and he ducks his head. “I guess we’ll just have to see, huh?”

“I guess so.”

The warning bell rings and the people around start to scatter. Jisung knows they need to get up and go to class, but he doesn’t want to move. Chenle’s hand is just becoming warm in his, the coldness dissipating until it’s like it was never there to begin with. He kind of likes the idea of just sitting against the lockers in an air of utter calmness with Chenle’s hand in his. It’s too bad they don’t have that time.

“We should get to class,” is all he says before slipping his hand from Chenle’s and helping him to his feet.

They split ways. Jisung keeps his head down when he walks into class, taking his seat behind Monday, who raises a brow at him in silent question. He spends his morning trying to focus on the lesson and ignoring the way Hyuk keeps kicking at his chair from behind him.

It’s hard, though, because after leaving Chenle, the tension is back and everything is feeling more and more irritating. He wants to spin around and spit in Hyuk’s face. He’s tired of being the low of the low and now is not the right time to piss him off.

By the time lunch comes, Jisung just wants to leave. He wants to find Chenle. Chenle always manages to calm him down. So, he grabs his books, makes sure Monday is on her way to her own group of friends, and starts down the hall back toward his locker. As he takes a turn down one of the corridors when someone calls out his name. The voice gives him pause.

Looking over his shoulder, he finds Hyuk, Wonjun, and Yejun. They stop a few feet away and Jisung doesn’t know why he waits. He should be walking away, but there’s something about the three of them that make him freeze.

The hall still has people. They’re rushing past, not paying Jisung and the trio any mind. He kind of wishes someone would catch his eye, so he can subtly ask for help. But he also knows that no one would help him, in the end. No one wants to help a Negate.

Jisung wants to leave. He has every ability to until Hyuk points at him and all his muscles seize. Hyuk’s got him by invisible strings that are impossible to snap. Wonjun smirks, knowing full-well just how stuck Jisung is.

“We just want to talk,” Hyuk says. “Can’t have you walking away on us, now, can we?”

Jisung’s jaw tightens, teeth grinding. “What do you want?”

“You see, we’ve built up a kind of relationship, right, Park? We don’t hide things from each other. I mean, I told you about my power almost right away.” A smirk stretches his lips and Jisung hates it. Hates him. “Wonjun has some really good news that I think you should hear.”

Wonjun steps forward, but as he does his skin ripples. His face warps, his hair brightening to a fresh orange, until Jisung finds himself staring directly into familiar dark eyes. Except, they aren’t exactly familiar. The shape, the color; those are the same. The emotion behind them, however, is off. It doesn’t look right. Jisung tries to retreat as Wonjun steps right in front of him. Too bad Hyuk still has him in place.

Wonjun looks exactly like Chenle.

“Look at his face,” Wonjun chuckles, tilting his head. His voice is still the same. At least that hasn’t changed. “He looks like he’s about to faint.”

“Maybe we should help him get more comfortable then, shall we?” Hyuk pushes his hand out, palm to the floor, and slowly lowers it.

Legs buckling, Jisung’s knees hit the floor a little too hard. He hisses, books falling from his arms and spilling around him. Whisper kick up around them and Jisung notices how the other students have stopped to watch.

“Look at you,” Wonjun teases, face still Chenle’s as he bends to stare Jisung in the eye. “Not so tough like this, are you?”

“Make him bow, Hyuk,” Yejun says. “I want to see Park bow to us.”

Hyuk, apparently, doesn’t seem to mind the suggestion because his hand is flipping so his palm is to the ceiling. Fingers curl into a fist before he starts to pull it toward himself. Jisung tries to fight it. He tries to keep upright. The strain is like lifting a heavy weight. His muscles quiver, sweat forms along his hairline, until he can’t hold it any longer and he falls forward. His forehead connects with the floor, his hands pressed flat on either side of his head.

Wonjun and Yejun laugh. Voices around him spike. Jisung can hear them talking about him, about how weak he is, about how terrifying Hyuk can be. It makes his blood boil. They’re all watching, but none of them are helping. He’s so tired of being belittled because he has no way to fight back. He clenches his jaw until it’s sore.

Not today.

Not now.

The soles of Wonjun’s shoes squeak against the floor as he makes his way beside Jisung so he can squat down and whisper in his ear. “How does it feel, Park? To be this low? I’m sure it’s pretty humbling for a Negate. Really makes you think about your place in life.” He snickers and Jisung’s fingers flex against the cold, hard flooring. “You’ll always be at the bottom, Park.”

“Fuck you,” Jisung manages to scrape out.

Wonjun snatches the back of his hair, yanking on it harshly. “That’s pretty rude, Park. I think you still need to be shown where you belong. At the bottom. You’re trash, Park.” Jisung presses his hands into the floor, trying to push himself up. He needs to stand up. “I wouldn’t get your hopes up at getting a power. You’ll be just like the rest of your family. Just like your pathetic, Negate mother.”

The strings holding him snap. He launches himself sideways, tackling Wonjun. He doesn’t have Chenle’s face anymore when his back slams against the ground with Jisung on top of him. His heart is pounding in his ears, but he can still hear the people around them gasp. Someone shouts from behind him. Even though Hyuk trying to jerk him back with his powers, Jisung shakes it off and shoves Wonjun down when he tries to wrestle Jisung off him.

“Get off me, you fucker!” Wonjun yells, his hand connecting with Jisung’s jaw. It stings. “You pathetic Negate motherfucker!”

Jisung sees red. His fist comes down on Wonjun’s face. His nose cracks beneath Jisung’s knuckles. There are more shouts, more yells, and suddenly there are hands on him, dragging him back from Wonjun. His throat is sore and he thinks he’s yelling, but he can’t hear himself. All he wants to do is hit something, hit Wonjun, hit Hyuk. Hit anything.

A hand appears in front of his face. “Sleep,” comes a voice, and with a snap of their fingers, his body goes weightless and Jisung completely blacks out.

*

When Jisung wakes up, he’s in the principal’s office. He’s still a bit groggy and his muscles sort of hurt, but he’s awake and he’s glad to see that Hyuk, Wonjun, and Yejun are nowhere near him. Thank god for that because the moment he remembers what happened, he’s thrumming with the urge to teach them not to mess with him anymore.

“Glad you could finally join us, Mr. Park,” says the principal from behind his desk.

Mr. Nam is a man in his early forties with wavy brown hair and a face that’s always rested a little too seriously to be welcoming. Jisung’s never really had to interact with him since he hardly comes out of his office. The only times he’s ever been visible for long periods of time are assemblies. Over the last three years, Jisung’s made a habit of being good, to not have to personally meet Mr. Nam. Well, that’s certainly fallen through.

Someone clears their throat to his side and Jisung’s soul almost leaves his body when he spots his mother in the chair beside him. She’s looking at him with her brow furrowed, an expression of pure disappointment.

“What were you thinking?” she asks him.

Jisung sinks in his seat a little bit. His jaw hurts and he wonders, briefly, if he’s bruising. “I’m sorry.”

“Mr. Park, we just want to understand what happened. Judging by your file, you’re a good student. Never had any issues before. No detentions, suspensions. My policy is that if I don’t know who you are, that’s all for the better. So, tell us, why do I need to know who you are today?”

He’s not sure what to say. Mr. Nam is right; he doesn’t like to be a problem student. He tends to stick to the rules. At least, inside the school walls and when he’s not with his chaotic-driven friends. Today, he did something he’s not particularly proud of, even if it felt wonderful to punch Wonjun in the face. In all honesty, he’s feeling a bit disappointed in himself. Probably more so than his mother is in him.

“I punched Wonjun,” he answers, tone quiet. His mother sucks in a breath. “I reacted and I shouldn’t have.”

“Reacted to what?”

He doesn’t know why he’s staying quiet. Maybe because he thinks Hyuk could get worse when he finds out Jisung told on him—and he _will_ find out. There’s no doubt about it.

Putting her hand on his arm, his mother says, “Honey, what happened?”

“He said something that made me angry,” he admits. “I’d rather not say what it was.”

Saying what Wonjun said about his family, about his mother, would not only upset his mom, but also Jisung all over again. He’s not sure he can deal with that right now, so he keeps his lips tight, refusing to look over at his mother all the while.

“If you don’t tell me, I can’t give him the punishment he may deserve. From what I’ve gathered, you’ve been having some issues with some boys from your year. They used their abilities on you—for which, they definitely will be punished,” he says, hurriedly, when Jisung’s mom opens her mouth. “And then you tackled Wonjun to the ground and broke his nose.”

“I broke his nose?” He can’t help the spark of excitement that shoots through him. He can barely cover it in time. His mother shoots him a glare and he sinks back into his seat.

“If he said something to warrant that sort of reaction, I need to know what it is so that I can react accordingly,” finishes Mr. Nam.

Jisung sneaks a peak at his mother. She’s studying him quietly, her hand still on his arm. He doesn’t want her to think this is all her fault because it’s not. It’s just the way things work out in the world.

“He said something about me and my,” he grips the arm rest, “lack of abilities.”

That’s safer, he decides. Not quite a lie, not quite the truth. And, perhaps, it takes a bit of the load off.

Exhaling sharply, Mr. Nam leans back into his chair. “The boys will get detention. You, however, broke Wonjun’s nose and, therefore, I have to suspend you.”

Jisung’s eyes widen. “Please, don’t—”

“Violence is prohibited on campus, Mr. Park, as I’m sure you are well aware,” he states. “You punched another student. Injured him. That’s at least a day of suspension, plus two weeks of detention. Now, seeing as you’re a good student otherwise, and I like to think you’ve realized the error in your ways, I won’t put it on your record. Just know, you slip up again, it will be on your record and the punishment will be more severe. Understood?”

“Yes, thank you, Mr. Nam,” he mutters.

His mother and him leave shortly after that, quiet and awkward. He’s not allowed to finish his day. He has to go home. Jisung just wishes he was able to tell Chenle in person. For all he knows, Chenle has no idea where Jisung is. He’s not even sure he wants to check his phone because, surely, Chenle’s completely blown it up looking for him.

By the time Jisung’s grabbed his things from his locker and they’ve made it to the car, his mother is ready to talk. They sit in the front seats, car still off.

“I can’t believe you,” she says. “Punching another boy? I didn’t teach you that, Jisung.”

He hangs his head. “I’m sorry.”

“Why didn’t you tell me you were struggling in school? I would have done something.”

“Like what? Called the principal? Told my teachers?”

She frowns. “Well, yeah.”

“That would have only made it worse,” he says. “Mom, this isn’t some easy fix. This is power users against Negates and you know very well how unbalanced that fight is.”

It’s a low blow. He knows it the moment the words are out of his mouth, the moment she flinches.

“Mom,” he starts. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have—”

“It’s fine. You’re right.” Gripping the steering wheel, she says, “I knew that life was going to be a little bit more difficult for you because of our family’s,” she pauses, “situation. I just—I guess I didn’t realize just how much of a problem it would be.”

“It’s not your fault. You can’t change who you are.”

“Neither can you,” she says. “Jisung, you’ve always been so strong. You take all these things onto your shoulders and you carry them with all the strength you have. You don’t deserve that. But you also shouldn’t resort to violence when someone is trying to break you down. You’re better than that. That’s not who you are.” Sighing, she adds, “I’ve always been proud of you, you know that? With or without a power, I’ll always be proud of you. But this? This isn’t something I’m proud of.”

“I’m sorry.”

She clicks her tongue, turning to look out the window. He isn’t quite looking at her. He’s found a spot on the dash, but he can see her from the corner of his eye, the way she shifts as if she’s unsure of what to do next. The next sigh that comes from her is heavy, deflating her shoulders.

“I’m going to have to ground you,” she says.

Jisung snaps up. “No, mom, please. You can’t.”

“I can and I am. For one week. I can’t let you off for something like this. You broke the kid’s nose.”

“He deserved it. He’s an asshole.”

“Jisung Park!”

He throws his hands up. “What? He is! Everything that comes out of his mouth is pompous and arrogant and meant to hurt someone. He’s an asshole and so are his friends. They used their powers on me, mom. What else was I supposed to do? This was me defending myself.”

“By punching him?”

“Yes!”

“And you had no thought to go get a teacher?”

“How? When? One of those boys can control what I do with my body. He had me _kneeling_. Do you know how humiliating that is? To be made to kneel to an asshole while my schoolmates watch? After what just happened with you and your boss? Don’t you think I would be a little bit angry?”

“You should have thought of anything but hurting someone. That’s not you.”

“Well, maybe it is!” he shouts, his voice echoing around the car. His mother stares back at him with round eyes. “Maybe I’ve been waiting for a moment to prove to those assholes that I’m not weak, that I’m not pathetic, that I can be just as threatening as they can be. Maybe I wanted to punch him. And I would do it all the same again because he deserved it. I won’t change my decision.”

The silence is deafening. Jisung’s trying to get his breathing under control. It feels as if he ran a marathon.

His mother does the opposite. Her chest is puffed out, as if she’s holding her breath, and even when she moves to turn the car on, she doesn’t release until she says, “Give me your phone.”

“Mom!”

“Now, Jisung. Don’t argue with me.”

He slams his phone into her open palm, the screen brightening to alert him to yet another message from Chenle.

“You’ll be without it for your suspension. Then you can have it back.”

Refusing to say another word, he huffs and turns to the window. All of this just because he defended himself, defended his family. All this because people can’t accept that Negates are humans, too. All this because three boys decided that Jisung was just too much fun to play with. It was unfair, infuriating, and he loathed everything right then and there.

When they make it home, Jisung’s totally set on stomping inside and slamming the door, even if his mother is right behind him. He ignores the calls of his grandmother, racing up to his room and shutting himself up. He doesn’t want to talk to anyone, to see anyone.

No one but Chenle, maybe.

Too bad he has no phone to contact him.

Groaning loudly, he falls face-first onto his mattress. Nothing is going right lately and it’s just so stressful. He’s so tired of life right now. Perhaps he should take the suspension as a blessing. Then again, the more time he has with his thoughts, the worse things get.

He starts to think about what he’ll do if he doesn’t get a power. How will he prove that he’s worth people’s time in the future? He’s going to have to get a good job, somehow, though he knows that will be difficult. His mom had landed something decent, except her boss had ruined that. Now, he’s looking at being evicted from his home because someone couldn’t deal with a Negate. A smart, hard-working Negate that can do any job a power user can.

His own mother can’t hold a good job. How will he?

Punching his pillow, he feels the back of his eyes burn. He doesn’t know what to do. He’s not sure how to make it better. It’s like everything is fighting against him. One step forward, and ten steps back.

From the ground floor, he can hear his mother and grandmother talking. He makes his way over, pressing his ear to the door. It’s muffled and he can’t catch all the words, but he knows they’re talking about him and what happened in school. He can feel the disappointment seeping through the door.

He wanders back to the bed and flops down. No one tends to visit him when he’s in a mood. Sometimes, his grandmother mentions dinner through the door, but no one enters. Jisung knows that he’s on his own for the night, which is probably for the best, he thinks. He’s not sure he wants to deal with anyone right now.

Time ticks by like it’s flying and Jisung spends most of it staring at the ceiling, mind churning with the same thoughts over and over again. His eyes are tired, but the rest of him won’t shut down. By the time the sun is ducking below the horizon, his room dimming into darkness, Jisung knows what he needs to do.

He needs to get out.

Pushing himself up from the mattress, he reaches for his jacket. There’s a split second when he freaks out because he can’t find his phone and then he remembers and feels like a fool.

His mother and grandmother are still downstairs. There’s no way he’ll be able to slip by them without being seen, so he moves toward the window and slides it up. He’s much luckier than Donghyuck was, who only had a lattice to work with—not that it mattered to him. Donghyuck could use anything as a ladder. At least Jisung had a tree.

As he reaches out for the closest branch, Jisung hopes today is the day that his limbs listen to him. Dancing seems to be the only time he can control his lanky arms and legs. Daily life, however, is a little hit and miss. Luckily for him, one thing goes right today and he makes his way down the tree without falling.

The apartments aren’t too far from his neighborhood. It’s about a twenty-minute walk, which Jisung doesn’t mind too much. It’s definitely past nine by the time he reaches the apartment building and gets into the elevator to head up to the fifth floor. At the door, he starts to wonder if the person he’s come to see is still awake. Or at home, at all.

When the door finally opens, Jisung’s hoping he’s made the right decision. Donghyuck stands in the doorway, looking a little startled with his round eyes checking Jisung out.

“What are you doing here?” he asks.

“Hi, nice to see you, too,” Jisung replies, letting himself in.

Donghyuck closes the door and crosses his arms. “You going to tell me why you’re here at nine-thirty at night?”

“I need your phone.”

“What’s wrong with yours? Wait, did you walk here to use my phone?”

Jisung looks everywhere but Donghyuck. Perhaps this wasn’t the best idea. “It got taken away, so, yes, I did.”

“Where’s your phone?”

“Are you going to let me use yours?”

“Not until you answer all my questions.”

“I knew I should have gone to Mark.”

It’s a sneaky dodge and they both know it. Donghyuck’s eyebrows raise up almost to his hairline, his expression reading, quite obviously, ‘Are you serious?’. Jisung shuffles a bit.

“I’ll give you my phone if you tell me what happened to yours,” Donghyuck says, skirting around Jisung to go sit on the couch. There’s papers spread across the coffee table and a few on the floor. It looks as if a tornado’s gone past.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you do homework,” he comments, moving closer to take a peek. It’s some kind of mathematics Jisung hopes he’ll never have to learn. Sometimes he forgets how smart Donghyuck actually is because he often doesn’t act like it.

Donghyuck snorts. “I only do it if I think it’s necessary. Focus, Jisung. What happened to your phone?”

“It got taken away,” he admits. “My mom took it.”

“Why?”

“Because I punched a kid at school today.”

There’s a moment where Jisung wishes he had his phone right now because Donghyuck is gawking at him like he’s grown an extra head. “What the fuck?”

“It’s a long story. Your phone? Please?”

Picking up his cellphone from the coffee table, Donghyuck gives it a wave in the air and says, “Who you calling?”

Jisung takes it and starts punching in the number he’s had completely memorized for years. “Chenle.”

“I’m really not all that surprised.”

Donghyuck goes quiet when the rings come. Jisung just hopes Chenle will answer Donghyuck’s caller ID. Then, there’s a click.

“Why are you calling me?”

Jisung chuckles at the answer. He isn’t all that shocked by it because Donghyuck is definitely not the type to _call_ someone, let alone Chenle.

“Hey, it’s me,” he says.

“Jisung? Why are you using Donghyuck’s phone?”

“Because I don’t have mine, which I’ll explain later. You know where the public pool is, right?”

“Yeah, of course—”

“Great, meet me there.”

“Wait, Jisung—”

“See you soon.” He hangs up before Chenle can reply and holds the phone out for Donghyuck to take. “I need another favor.”

Donghyuck raises his brow. “What?”

“Your lock picking kit.”

There’s a large chance that Donghyuck won’t help him. He doesn’t like letting people borrow his stuff. And most people aren’t stupid enough to ask for favors because that usually means they owe him. Owing Donghyuck is never a good thing. Jaemin’s turned out with pink hair because of a deal he made with Donghyuck.

“I’ll owe you,” Jisung reminds him. “Please?”

“You’re using an awful lot of pleas today. Rather odd coming from your mouth.” Donghyuck stands and, for a moment, he simply studies Jisung. After a little more time, he disappears down the hall, reappearing after a minute with a small case in his hand. He tosses it and Jisung scrambles to catch it.

Eyeing the case, he asks, “You aren’t going to stop me?”

“Would you listen to me?”

“Probably not.”

Donghyuck hums, moving back toward the couch. “Besides, it would be a bit hypocritical, wouldn’t it?”

“Guess so.” Having said and done what he’s needed to, Jisung backs his way to the door.

Donghyuck sets his elbows on his knees. “Just,” he pauses, “don’t get caught.”

“I won’t,” he promises.

“And if anyone asks?”

“You had nothing to do with it.”

“That’s my boy. Now, leave, please. I need to get back to work.”

Jisung pops the door open. “Thanks, Donghyuck. Really.”

Without taking his gaze off his work, Donghyuck waves a hand at him in a shooing motion. “Yeah, yeah. Close the door on the way out, will you?”

Rolling his eyes, Jisung does as he’s told and leaves Donghyuck be.

*

By the time he makes it to the public pool, Chenle’s already there. He spots Jisung from down the block and judging by his crossed arms and upright posture, he’s not all that happy to be there. Jisung worries his bottom lips as he gets closer. An upset Chenle is never good.

“You got into a fight?” Chenle practically shouts as soon as he’s in close range. “What were you thinking?”

Jisung glances at the building up ahead. “Can we talk about this after? Come on.”

“Wh—Jisung!” Chenle chases after him. “You have to talk to me. What’s even going on with you? What are we doing here?”

“We’re going to break in,” he states. Pointing up at the cameras—one at the door and one at the side—he says, “Can you do something about those?”

“I’m not doing anything until you talk to me.”

Jisung turns to him, lockpick kit in hand. “And I’m not talking until you help me.”

“Then,” Chenle crosses his arms again, “we’re at a stand-still.”

Too bad for him that they both know Jisung’s going to win. Chenle gives in easier than Jisung ever will. And he proves the point when he tosses his hands in the air and, with a sharp whistle, the glass on the camera on the side shatters. Another whistle and the camera by the door is out.

Jisung heads to the door. The pool doesn’t have an actual security system, luckily for them. Mostly because it’s a place people don’t pay to visit. It’s opened in the morning and closed up at night. The cameras are more of a formality. Still, Jisung doesn’t want to tempt fate right now. He’s in enough trouble as it is. The last thing he wants is his face on a security camera at ten at night.

He struggles with the door. Donghyuck makes it look so easy. He’s quick and accurate and Jisung’s only ever watched him do it, never done it himself. So, it’s a bit of a mess as he tries to get the lock to finally click. Sensing his frustration, Chenle knocks him out of the way with a ‘move over’ and manages to, not-so-gracefully, open the door. They close it behind them.

The inside isn’t anything exciting. Plain walls, hard floors. The lobby is tiny with a small booth where people sign in and out. Off to the left are two archways leading into the change rooms. The door across from them leads to the pools and that’s where Jisung goes.

He doesn’t have a need to be here, in particular. It’s just the only place he figured he can get into with the least amount of issues. He’s always gotten a bit of a thrill breaking and entering, much like Donghyuck does. He’s just a little less vocal about it. It’s one of those things that he can do with his friends. Where having a power or not has never really mattered.

Standing next to the pool, watching the way the moonlight from the windows bounces off the water, Jisung feels kind of proud having made it this far. It makes his heart race.

Chenle takes him by the shoulder and spins him around. “What’s going on with you? Fights? Breaking and entering?”

“We trespass all the time,” he counters.

“Because Donghyuck leads us. Not you. Seriously,” his frown deepens, “what’s going on?”

Pulling away, he starts down the side of the pool. He kind of wishes he had brought a change of clothes. He could go for a swim right now. “Nothing.”

“Bullshit,” Chenle hisses. “This isn’t how you do things. This isn’t you.”

“Why do people keep saying that?”

“Because it’s true!” His voice echoes off the thick, stone walls.

“Maybe,” Jisung says, as he turns to face Chenle head on, “this is how I really am.”

Shaking his head, Chenle says, “I don’t believe that. Something is going on. Tell me what’s going on!”

“My mom lost her job.”

Chenle stills. “What?”

“And you want to know why?” He wishes he could control himself because his fingers are shaking and his voice is quivering and he’s suddenly feeling like a mess again. A bitter laugh escapes him. “Because her boss replaced her with a power user. Because to him, and even to the rest of society, Negates are nothing but placeholders or wastes of space.”

“I’m so sorry,” Chenle whispers as he takes a few steps forward. He still keeps a slight distance, but, if Jisung wanted, he could reach out and touch him. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“You’re going through so much already—”

“Jisung, I’m your best friend. We’re supposed to carry the load together. I’m supposed to be the one you go to when you need a shoulder to lean on. My problems aren’t any more valid than yours. I want you to come to me,” he says, eyes wide. “Always.”

“It doesn’t matter. There isn’t anything you can do about it. Mom’s lost her job and now we’ll have to move. I’ll have to leave my home. I don’t want to leave my home.”

He can’t help the way his voice cracks and Chenle is suddenly there, arms wrapped around his neck. Jisung holds him tight, burying his face into the crevice between Chenle’s neck and shoulder. His eyelashes are wet, but he tries to keep himself from sobbing.

“I’m so sorry,” Chenle repeats. “I’m so sorry.”

“It’s not your fault. Stop apologizing.” He keeps his arms around Chenle’s waist as he pulls back to look at him. Chenle’s brow furrows. “What?”

“I’m just trying to figure out how this goes with the fight you had today,” he replies. “Which, by the way, what the hell were you thinking? I had to hear about it from Monday, too. She found me just before class, completely freaked out. And then you didn’t answer any of my calls.”

Jisung wipes at his eyes with the sleeve of his shirt. “Mom took my phone away.”

“Ah, that explains that. Still doesn’t explain the fight.”

Sighing, he lets go of Chenle and shoves his hands into his pockets. “They…I have issues with them. Those guys. They like to pick on me, I guess.”

Chenle’s mouth pops open. “You’re being bullied and you didn’t tell me?”

“It’s not—It wasn’t—It’s not like it’s a _big_ deal,” he stutters. “I didn’t want to worry you and I was doing fine and—”

“Doing fine. Doing fine? Jisung, how long?”

“A few years.”

Chenle looks like he’s about to throttle him, cheeks red and glare set. “I can’t believe you didn’t tell me!”

He yells it a little harder than he means to. The sure volume of it shakes Jisung’s eardrums. “I could handle it!”

“Apparently not,” Chenle says, struggling to keep his tone down. “What was so different about today?”

“I was already stressed about mom and then they started mentioning my family and saying how useless they were, how useless I was going to be. I don’t know. I guess it just got to me. I don’t want to be useless. I want to be anything but ordinary and that’s exactly where I’m heading. I’m going to be a Negate, Chenle. And there’s nothing I can do about it.”

He drops to the floor, crossing his legs and burying his face in his hands. The water tinkles around him. When he glances up from his hands, Chenle is taking a spot beside him.

Pulling his legs up to his chest, Chenle says, “I don’t know what to say. First off, the next time I see those fuckers, I’m going to make their ears bleed. Second of all, I wish there was something I could say to make it all better. Unfortunately, at this point, it’s all on you. Can you live with being a Negate?”

“I don’t know.”

“I think you could,” Chenle replies, easily. “I think you could do anything you put your mind to. You aren’t the kind of person to take something with your head down. I think, that if you wanted to, you could prove to people that being a Negate isn’t the worst thing someone can be.”

Jisung reaches out to touch the water. It ripples under his fingertips, cool and refreshing. “You really think so?”

“I believe in you, so you should believe in yourself,” Chenle says, bumping shoulders with Jisung and drawing out a smile. “You’re the only one stressing yourself out.”

“I know, but there’s just so much happening and I can’t seem to deal with it all right now. Or ever. And—”

“Hey, hey, hey.” Chenle twists around, taking Jisung’s hand in his. “It’s a lot, sure, but you aren’t alone. You’ll manage this. Power or not. And your mom will find something. Even if you have to move, at least you’ll all still be together, right?”

“Yeah,” he breathes. “Yeah, you’re right.”

“Of course, I am,” he teases. Resting his head on Jisung’s shoulder, he sighs an “I love you, Sungie” that sets Jisung’s heart racing.

He stares out over the water, the quiet of the room settling around them like a blanket. A dry lump has found home in his throat as the weight of Chenle’s head on his shoulder starts to sink in. His hand is becoming clammy in Chenle’s. They’re so close and it’s starting to become suffocating because, _god_ , Jisung’s not sure if he can do this.

He’s not sure if he can play this game anymore.

Even if he loves Chenle, there’s no way he can give him what he wants, what he needs, in a relationship. There’s no doubt about the way he wants Chenle as a partner, as a boyfriend, but there are still so many things he knows he would never be able to do. It’s just as much unfair to him as it is for Chenle. The only difference is, Jisung doesn’t care how much he hurts, as long as Chenle is happy.

Being with Jisung wouldn’t make him happy.

He tries to pull his hand from Chenle’s grasp, but Chenle’s hold tightens. “Lele,” he tries.

“I love you.”

Those words send a shock down his spine. It hits every vertebra on the way down like they’re electric. Chenle’s found his gaze, eyes dark and round and perfect. Jisung couldn’t look away even if he wanted to.

Unfortunately, panic starts rising from his stomach to his throat and Jisung rips his hand from Chenle’s and shifts as far as he can without having to get up. Chenle’s brow furrows, eyes flicking from Jisung’s face to his own hand, and something takes over there, on his features, that reminds Jisung of the look on his mother’s face when she lost her job. Absolutely heartbroken.

“Jisung.” His voice is barely a whisper. If it weren’t for the quiet they’re sitting in, Jisung’s not sure he’d even hear him. “It’s okay.”

He can’t breathe. His lungs burn. “No. No, it’s not. It’s not okay. I don’t—I can’t, Chenle.”

“Can’t love me?”

“No!” he blurts. His fingernails scrape against the cement flooring as he balls his hands into fists. The only thing he knows right now, is that he needs to stop shaking. “No, I mean—That’s not what I meant. I just—Chenle, it’s not going to work.”

Chenle tilts his head, his orange hair sparkling in the reflection of the water. “Jisung, I know you like me. I figured since I like you, too, that maybe we could—”

“We can’t.”

“Why not? I don’t see a problem with it.”

Jisung’s taking in little gasps of air. It’s making him just a tad dizzy, but at least the churning in his stomach is settling. “What about our friendship?”

“What about it? Jisung, you’ll always be my best friend. No matter what. Not even a relationship would get in the way of that. Unless you think it would?”

He sinks his head into his hands, heaving a heavy sigh. “No, that’s not it.”

“Then, what is it?” Gently, Chenle pries Jisung’s fingers from his face and ducks down to try and catch his attention. “Please, look at me. Talk to me.”

“It’s not that I don’t want to be with you,” he admits. “I just—It’s just that—I don’t know.”

Getting on his knees, Chenle moves his whole body to face Jisung, taking both his hands in his own. He runs his thumbs over Jisung’s knuckles, soothingly. “This is because of the kiss, isn’t it? Because you don’t like that sort of thing.”

“It’s not fair.”

“What isn’t?”

Jisung bites his lip so hard it hurts. “That I can’t give you what you want. What you will want.”

“What I _want_ ,” Chenle says with so much conviction, “is you. In any way you’ll let me.”

“But what if one day you do want to… _you know_?” He’s heating in the face just from thinking about it. It kind of makes him feel like a pathetic, prudish child.

Chenle coughs a laugh. And then he’s giggling, trying so hard to keep it behind his lips. He’s failing miserably, but part of Jisung doesn’t really care because he loves to listen to him laugh. The other part feels like he’s being laughed at. It’s embarrassing.

“As of right now, I don’t want that. I’m not horny like Jaemin,” he jokes and Jisung smiles despite his mess of emotions. “I don’t know if it’ll ever mean anything to me or not, but wouldn’t you rather try? I’d never force you to. I just want you. Just Jisung Park, exactly the way he is. And, if I ever start to feel like I want something, we’ll talk about it. I will never expect you to be anything but yourself because that’s all I’ve ever wanted, Sungie.”

“I just don’t want you to regret it.”

Taking Jisung’s face in his hands, Chenle forced their eyes to meet. “I will never regret you. Ever. Sex isn’t the be-all-end-all to me. Never has been. Sure, I might want to try it someday, but I would never, ever make you do it unless you wanted to. And if you never want to? Well, that’s fine, too. I was born with hands for a reason.”

Jisung wrinkles his nose. “Gross.”

“Maybe,” he laughs. “Look, you’re amazing and I love you and you love me, too, right?” Jisung nods, his chest to his ears flaming. “Then, that’s all that matters. Just you and me. That’s it. So, Jisung,” he grins, “will you be my boyfriend?”

His heart stutters. “You’ll tell me, right? If you…want something? Or if you start to think this isn’t working for you?”

“Absolutely.”

“You’re sure?”

Chenle blows out his cheeks. “Yes. Now, can I call you my boyfriend or not?”

A smile works its way on to his face. All that panic that filled him slowly leaks out and he’s left feeling just a bit lightheaded, but, _god_ , he’s okay with that if Chenle is why. “I guess so.”

“Are cheek kisses okay?” Chenle asks. When Jisung sputters, he laughs at him once again and plants a quick, soft kiss on Jisung’s cheekbone. “How’s that?”

“That’s,” he tries to calm his heart, which feels like it’s trying to escape his chest through his throat, “okay. That’s fine.”

“Good,” he replies, smiling. “Now, we should probably get out of here. Because, as much as you breaking into the pool was hot, we probably shouldn’t do it without the others.”

Jisung’s not even sure he’s ever going to go back to his original color, he’s so red. Even still, he takes Chenle’s hands to help him up. The two of them head out into the night, making sure the door is locked behind them. It isn’t until he reaches the road that he realizes just how happy he is. It’s like Chenle’s chased away all the stress that’s lived inside him for months just by holding his hand.

As he looks down at their intertwined fingers, he can’t help but think he’s just won the lottery. It’s an amazing feeling and he doesn’t want it to stop.

*

Jisung’s family have no idea he went out that night. Shortly after eleven, he slipped back into his room with a smile permanently glued to his face. It doesn’t leave the next day—while he’s supposed to be sulking over a day’s suspension—much to his mother’s confusion.

On the first day back at school, his mom passes over his phone and says, “I want to know that you’ll think before you act next time.”

“I will,” he promises. “By the way, I have something to tell you.”

“God, you didn’t kill someone, did you? I don’t have a heart for that,” she says, fanning herself.

He laughs. “No, um, actually I’m dating someone.”

Perking up, she asks, “Chenle?”

“Yeah.”

“Oh, my god!” She throws her arms around him, hugging him close. “I’m so happy for you two. We’ll need to have him for dinner.”

Before he can respond, her phone goes off. She quickly apologizes, tells him to have a good day, and answers. Jisung picks up his bag and heads out.

It’s so bright and sunny out that he has to squint and it sort of hurts his eyes, but it doesn’t matter because things feel so much better. He knows that there are still issues he has to deal with, still stresses that will press down on him for a little while longer. However, it doesn’t feel as if he’s spinning into a blackhole anymore.

He can give a lot of that credit to Chenle. Why he thought he could do it without Chenle in the first place is beyond him. They’ve always tackled things together, as a pair, or as a whole group. Jisung, perhaps, might have been stupid to think he needed to handle it on his own.

Okay, maybe not ‘might have’. He _definitely_ had been stupid.

Before he’s even entered the school, Monday saddles up to his side with a bounce in her step. It makes her ponytail swing back and forth like a metronome. It’s kind of hypnotizing. “So,” she starts, “you’re finally back.”

He holds the door open for her and they make their way through the busy hallway toward his locker. He’s hoping that he won’t run into Hyuk, Wonjun, and Yejun until class, at least. While he’s kind of proud of himself for breaking Wonjun’s nose, he also knows that it might not have been the best idea in the long run. They’ll be out to get him today. He just wants a little more time to prepare himself.

“I’m sorry I didn’t answer your texts. Mom took away my phone,” he explains. “Did I miss anything?”

“I have all your notes. I’ll give them to you when we meet up in homeroom. I’m going to run to my locker. Try not to get into any fights while I’m gone, yeah?”

Jisung rolls his eyes. “Ha ha. Go away.”

By the time they’ve reached his locker, Monday’s veering off down another hall to her own. It gives him a moment to collect his thoughts and arrange his things for class.

Glancing down the hall, he searches for Chenle. He should be arriving soon, yet he’s nowhere to be seen. Jisung’s a little anxious because he hasn’t seen Chenle since they decided to date. It makes his palms sweat and his heart pound and he feels like a pathetic, little school boy. Which he is, he supposes, but it still feels like he should have some kind of handle on the situation. They’ve been friends for years. Having a romantic title shouldn’t change anything.

Theoretically.

He jumps when his locker slams shut, his heart nearly leaping from his chest. Chenle, hands pressed to his mouth, laughs at him.

“Oh, my god,” he chuckles. “You should have seen your face.”

Jisung knows he’s going red in the face. He can feel the way his blood rushes to his cheeks. Pouting, he opens his locker again. “You’re so rude.”

“And you’re so adorable,” says Chenle, shooting him a smug grin. Leaning in, he presses a quick kiss to Jisung’s cheek. “Hi.”

Part of him wants to stare at Chenle all day. The other part of him wants to melt into a puddle and be mopped up. “Hi,” he breathes. “I guess you’re kind of cute, too. If we’re admitting those kinds of things right now.”

“I know I am, right? I’m flipping adorable. Anyway, enough of my overwhelming cuteness,” he says, leaning against the lockers. “How are you feeling? About being back? Are you worried at all?”

“Not really,” he admits. “Well, sort of, but not enough to want to disappear completely. I think I’ve fully prepared myself that they aren’t going to be happy. I did break Wonjun’s nose.”

“I like how you say it as if it’s the proudest moment of your life.”

Jisung shrugs, a smile tugging at his lips. “It’s definitely one of them.”

“You’re ridiculous.”

“I thought I was adorable.”

“Ridiculously adorable. I’m glad you’re not worried, but I am.”

Frowning, Jisung closes his locker. “Why?”

“I don’t like it when people mess with you. And these guys are definitely messing with you. I want to shatter their eardrums.”

“As much as I appreciate that,” he says, taking Chenle’s hand, “you probably shouldn’t. I think you could get in serious legal trouble if you did that.”

Jisung can’t help but smile as Chenle winks at him. “Damn.”

Opening his mouth to respond, Jisung’s cut off by someone shouting his name. Shoulders tense, he turns to see Wonjun shoving his way through the crowd, Hyuk and Yejun at his heels. He looks about ready to murder Jisung and Jisung would love to hide behind Chenle, but he also knows that wouldn’t help anyone. Wonjun’s on a mission. Hiding will do nothing.

As he draws closer, Jisung notices the white bandage over Wonjun’s nose and he gets sort of giddy at the fact that he did that. Glare like a blazing sun, Wonjun moves to slam Jisung into one of the lockers. At least, that’s what Jisung thinks is going to happen. Except, it doesn’t because Chenle is there, shoving Jisung back and moving in front of him, face set like stone.

“Touch him and you go deaf,” he warns. Jisung’s never heard him so fierce. The tone is low—gravely, even—and it sends shivers down his spine.

“Well, well, got your boyfriend to protect you, Park?” Wonjun drawls. “Very brave.”

Chenle’s nostrils flare. “Says the one who used his powers on someone who has none.”

A growl escapes Wonjun’s lips and Hyuk moves in, placing a hand on Wonjun’s shoulder and drawing him back. “And he broke my nose!”

“Seems to me like you deserved it,” snaps Chenle.

“Now, we shouldn’t fight,” Hyuk says, side-eyeing Wonjun. When he looks over at Chenle, he smiles. It’s so sweet that Jisung feels entirely unnerved. “We’re on the same side, aren’t we? Power user to power user. You really shouldn’t bring yourself down like this, Chenle. Hanging with a Negate.”

“For all you know, he’s not one,” counters Chenle, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Chenle Zhong,” Hyuk says as he tilts his head slightly to stare down his nose. “You’re quite popular, especially in the upper years, because of your power. Sonokinesis. Impressive. Except, you ruin all that by being that boy’s friend. You can hope he’ll get a power. You can pray on your knees, but we all know who his family is. Just like every other Negate-born in this school, he’s bound to coast along the bottom of the food chain. Don’t you think?”

“What I think,” Chenle says, “is that you’re a pathetic asshole with absolutely no integrity or intelligence. That you would rather be the rudest, most ignorant person on the planet and be at the top than use your powers to help people who need it.” He takes a step forward. “You made my boyfriend bow to you. Time for you to bow back.”

With a solid knee to the groin, Hyuk doubles over, a choking sound coming from his mouth. Several people walking by stop and watch.

Jisung’s eyes widen. “Chenle!”

“What?” he asks, shrugging. “An eye for an eye, right? At least, I didn’t break a bone.”

“You motherfucker—” Hyuk cuts himself off as he throws out his hand. Chenle slams against the locker, causing them to rattle, and stays there. Pinned by an invisible force. Hand still out, Hyuk slowly straightens. There’s a grimace trying to take over his face, but he manages to keep it elusive. “That wasn’t very smart, Zhong.”

“I think it was the smartest thing I’ve ever done,” Chenle bites back. “This will be the second.”

Jisung sees it before everyone else. Chenle heaves a breath, eyes fixated on Hyuk, and just as he goes to let it out, Jisung leaps at him, gripping his arm and trying to shock him out of his next move. “No! Chenle, stop!”

But no sound comes out. At least, not the sound they’re all expecting. Chenle chokes. His face goes red as he coughs. He breathes again and exhales, but all that comes out is air. Hyuk moves back—almost as if he’s afraid he’s the one that’s causing the issue—and the invisible force let’s Chenle go.

Clutching at his neck, Chenle’s eyes are wide with pure panic. “Wh—What?” He tries again, tries to yell, but there’s nothing. Nothing at all.

“What’s wrong? What’s happening?” Jisung asks, taking Chenle by the shoulders and forcing him to face him. “Chenle?”

“I can’t—it’s not working,” he replies, voice raspy.

Wonjun snickers. “Looks like your boyfriend’s malfunctioning, Park? Might want to take care of that.”

The warning bell rings. Hyuk takes one look at Chenle and turns on his heel. “Let’s go.”

“This isn’t over,” Chenle tells him. Hyuk doesn’t even glance back. Shaking off Jisung’s hands, he shouts, “Hey!”

Several things happen all at once. As soon as Chenle’s voice is released, there’s a shockwave. It hits all the people closest to him the hardest. Jisung’s eardrums shudder from the sure force of it, cupping his ears to try and make it stop. He knows he’s going to be listening to everything as if they were underwater for the rest of the morning.

And while he’s trying to regain his clarity, the windows along the hallway shatter. One by one they explode, shards of glass raining down on the students, who shout and scream and clutch their ears. Hyuk, Wonjun, and Yejun stumble. Yejun hits the lockers, loosing his footing and lands hard on his knees. Hyuk turns, hands to his ears, and gaps at Chenle.

Through the chaos, Chenle watches with a mix of anger, but also shock. From grasping for power to unleashing it in seconds must be whiplash for him. Still, he stands his ground.

“Mess with Jisung again and I won’t be so nice,” he tells Hyuk, eyes cold. Then, he waves his hand down the hall with a sheepish smile on his face. A complete one-eighty. “Sorry, Mr. Nam!”

The principal is eyeing the mess of glass and the disoriented students with an expression akin to exhaustion. “Mr. Zhong. My office. Now.”

Chenle turns to kiss Jisung on the cheek. “Wait for me?”

He nods, not quite sure what else to do, and watches Chenle step around Hyuk and head toward the principal. Despite the fact that class will be starting soon, Jisung listens to Chenle. His ears are still ringing, but it’s not as bad as everyone else. Jisung’s managed to build up a bit of a tolerance over the years, thank god.

He moves through Hyuk, Wonjun, and Yejun, who are still trying to gather themselves. Ignoring their glowering expressions, he makes his way through the crowd. No one seems to be bleeding from the ears, so it becomes clear that Chenle definitely wasn’t at full power. Even still, he made quite the impact. The glass that crunches under his shoes says that clearly.

For the next ten minutes, Jisung hovers outside the principal’s office. He tries to stay away from the glass that views into the front office, just in case someone comes out to tell him to go back to class. Pressing himself against the wall, he keeps an eye on the door until finally Chenle walks through. He glances up and down the hall, and when he notices Jisung, he bounces over. His smile is wide as he waves a slip of paper in his hand.

“We get to be detention buddies for the week,” he says. Perhaps a little too happily to be appropriate. “And I have to clean up the hall. But it was worth it.”

Jisung gives him a gentle shove of the shoulder. “I can’t believe you.”

“Just know that I wouldn’t destroy windows for just anyone,” jokes Chenle, linking his arm through Jisung’s. He’s warm against Jisung’s side. “But there is something I want to talk about.”

“Is it what happened? When you choked?” Jisung inquires. “Do you know what happened? I’ve never seen you fail to use your power.”

Chenle purses his lips, eyes to the floor. “Actually, I have an idea.” He pulls his arm away, much to Jisung’s dissatisfaction, and holds out his hand. “Give me your hand.”

Jisung does as he’s told. Their fingers link together effortlessly. But he doesn’t have time to think about how comfortable it feels because Chenle opens his mouth and only air comes out. He hums and lets Jisung go again. Jisung would love it if he’d stop doing that.

Then, with a whistle, the glass on the clock that hangs high on the wall, shatters. The glass rains down to the floor.

“Come on,” Chenle says, taking his hand again and tugging him down the hallway. There’s a smile on his face that Jisung can’t understand. “Come on!”

“Wh—Where are we going? Chenle, we have class!” he argues as he’s yanked through the corridor toward the entrance.

Pushing the doors open, Chenle says, “This is more important. Now, come on!”

Jisung knows he should be fighting him. He should go back to class. He’s already missed yesterday and his mother isn’t going to be happy to know he’s skipping the first day he’s back. Neither is Mr. Nam. But Chenle suddenly looks so excited and it lights up his whole being, like a sparkler. It’s intoxicating and Jisung doesn’t want him to stop smiling, so he goes with it.

Chenle has his phone to his ear, telling his driver to come to the front. Before he knows it, the two of them are in the backseat with Chenle giving the address to the apartments.

Frowning, he asks, “Why are we going there? What’s going on?”

“I have a theory,” explains Chenle. “I don’t think I lost my powers or that it’s malfunctioning. I think it was you.”

“Me?”

“Yeah, I think you create a block of some sort. We’re going to test my theory.”

Jisung’s not sure how to feel. He’s confused, honestly. There’s a sliver in him that brightens at the thought of maybe Chenle is right. Maybe he did do something. Whatever that something was. That bit makes his stomach flutter, his heart stutter.

Except, there’s a chance that Chenle is jumping to conclusions, that it was just a fluke because of the stress of the situation. Jisung’s sort of come to terms with the possibility of being a Negate. He’s just not sure.

His emotions are still wavering when they finally arrive. Wasting no time, Chenle is out of the car before it’s even come to a complete stop. Jisung fumbles to follow after him. He knows exactly where they’re going as soon as Chenle leads him to the elevator and hits the button for the fifth level. Chenle’s bouncing on his heels when he comes to the right door and knocks.

The door swings open and Lucas stands there in all his glory, hair a mess and eyes still half-closed. He pulls at his oversized t-shirt to keep it from dipping off his shoulder. Jisung’s not sure how he’s managed to find something so large considering Lucas is a giant in pretty much every aspect: height, eyes, ears, hands. Jisung’s always been quite tall compared to his friends. Standing next to Lucas, he feels tiny.

“Chenle? Jisung,” he says, trying to shake himself awake. “Don’t you have school?”

“This is really important,” Chenle ducks under Lucas’ arm and into the apartment. “Is Donghyuck still here?”

Lucas blinks. “In his room.”

“Come on, Sungie.”

Jisung gives Lucas an apologetic smile and rushes after Chenle, who’s already barging into Donghyuck’s room without even bothering to knock.

“What the actual fuck?” Donghyuck snaps from where he is on the bed, a textbook and notepad in front of him. “Learn to knock! Also, aren’t you supposed to be in school?”

“Give Jisung your hand,” orders Chenle, shoving Jisung toward the bed.

Donghyuck wrinkles his nose. “I would rather not, thank you.”

“Please,” he presses. “Just do it. I swear, there’s a good reason.”

There’s a moment where Donghyuck simply eyes Jisung’s outstretched hand as if it’ll bite him. Despite being fairly affectionate, Donghyuck likes to pick when he does it and who he does it with. It’s his own move, not someone else’s. Now that he’s thought about it, Jisung’s not sure if he’s ever seen Donghyuck hold someone’s hand. Link arms, hug them, sit on their lap? Sure. Hand holding, however?

Heaving a sigh, Donghyuck stands and slaps his hand in Jisung’s. “Now, what?”

“Try to create your fire,” Chenle instructs.

Donghyuck holds out his other hand and snaps his fingers. Jisung’s expecting flames, hot and bright like they always are. Except, they never come. Frowning, Donghyuck does it again. Then again. Still, nothing. Ripping his hand from Jisung’s, he snaps his fingers one last time and his whole hand to the edge of his elbow catches on fire. He sighs in relief as he flicks the fire away.

“Oh, my god!” Chenle squeals. “Oh, my god. I’ll be right back. Oh, my god, stay right there!”

He bolts from the room, leaving Donghyuck and Jisung watching after him. Jisung glances at Donghyuck out of the corner of his eye to find him lighting and extinguishing a small flame on his thumb. He wonders if it really freaked him out that he couldn’t create his fire and now he’s just making sure it’s still working.

“So, new ability?” Donghyuck asks, shoving his hands into his pockets.

“I guess so,” he says. “Chenle seems to think so.”

Trying to calm his beating heart, Jisung perches himself on the edge of Donghyuck’s bed. He’s not sure his legs can keep him upright for much longer. If Chenle is right, he’s not a Negate at all. He’s managed to do something people thought was improbable. A whole line of Negates except for one person in his family and Jisung’s somehow managed to grip onto that gene somehow. Maybe. Possibly. He hopes so.

“I would say it is. Only makes sense. My fire doesn’t just not work at random. It always works. Even if I don’t want it to.”

Donghyuck moves to his desk and starts shuffling his books. Over the years they’ve known each other, Jisung’s only been in Donghyuck’s room a handful of times and, much like his place back at Jungwoo’s house, this room is fairly stark. He’s never had a lot of things, always keeping to a more minimal life. Jaemin once mentioned that Donghyuck’s never liked the idea of _things_. The only item that Jisung would pin as unneeded was a stuffed lion that sits between his pillows on the bed.

“How did it go?” asks Donghyuck, his back to Jisung as he restacks his books off to the side. “With the pool?”

“Good. I’ll bring you back your kit later this week,” he says. “It, um, was kind of liberating.”

“That’s good. Sorted everything out, then?”

Jisung nods, fingers twiddling in his lap. “For the most part. I think I was just having a bit of a breakdown. Thank god for Chenle, though. I don’t think I would have been okay if it weren’t for him.” He pauses as he feels his cheeks warm. “We, uh, are dating now. Just so you know.”

Leaning against his desk to study Jisung, he asks, “Jaemin know?”

“Not yet.”

“He’s going to be so pissed you told me first and not him,” Donghyuck snorts. “But, in the grand scheme of things, I guess I’m happy for you guys. Been a long time coming. The longing looks and puppy eyes were starting to get irritating.”

“Wow, thank you.”

Donghyuck shrugs. “I tell it like it is.”

They both turn when the front door opens and Renjun’s voice drifts through the apartment. “This better be good. I have class in twenty minutes.”

“I promise, it’s worth it,” Chenle says.

Jisung stands as all his friends filter into the room. Renjun has his jacket on and his bag slung over his shoulder. While Jaemin looks up and ready for the day, Jeno appears to be much like Lucas was, tired and a little confused. Apparently, Chenle didn’t even give him time to change out of his plaid pajama pants. Luckily, Jeno did manage to grab a shirt. Mark has a bag as well, though Jisung’s pretty sure he’s just come back to the apartments. He remembers something about Mark having one too many morning classes.

“Okay, so, watch.”

Chenle strides over to Jisung’s side, takes his hand, and takes a deep breath. Everyone flinches, shouting over each other to tell him ‘No!’ and ‘Don’t!’. All of them except Donghyuck, who observes the whole thing with growing interest. And when Chenle finally lets out the air, there’s no sound.

Jaemin’s eyes widen, hands still in the air from his terrible attempt to stop Chenle. His gaze drops to Chenle and Jisung’s conjoined hands and then back to Chenle’s smug smile. “Wait. Wait, a minute. What?”

Chenle shakes Jisung’s hand. “He has a power! I think it’s a block. Maybe a shield or something else. It happened at school this morning. I couldn’t get any sound out. It was like something was completely suppressing my ability. And then we tested it on Donghyuck and he couldn’t even make a flame until Jisung let go.”

They all glance at Donghyuck, who shrugs. “Looks like a power to me.”

“Nullification?” Mark suggests, his gaze dipping and rising all over Jisung’s body. “The ability to nullify someone else’s ability. It makes the most sense.”

“Are you doing anything?” Jaemin asks Jisung.

He shakes his head. “No. I had no idea until Chenle got the idea this morning. It doesn’t feel like I’m doing anything at all.”

“Could be like Taeyong or Jaehyun’s power,” Jeno says. “Not being able to turn it off, you know?”

Suddenly, Renjun stalks forward and takes Jisung’s other hand. “Someone say something in a different language.”

Jisung wants to know what Mark says to him in English. Unfortunately, he doesn’t catch much of it. English was never his top class. However, Renjun should have known, seeing as he’s the linguist of the crew—able to understand and speak all languages. In fact, the school allowed him to skip all language courses after he got his ability, strictly because of that skill.

That is, he _should_ have. Except, now he’s staring at Mark with a furrowed brow, releasing his grip on Jisung’s. “I caught the words ‘taller’ and ‘you’. You better not have just insulted me.”

“A power,” Jaemin breathes. “Our baby has a power!”

Jisung’s barely prepared for it. Jaemin launches himself at Jisung, giving him the tightest hug he can muster. They nearly fall backward onto the bed, but Jisung keeps them upright. It’s only when Jaemin’s leaned away, grasping Jisung’s shoulders, that Jisung’s able to breathe again.

“How happy are you? You must be so happy? Gosh, I’m so happy for you!” Jaemin says, words almost slurring together with how fast he’s talking.

Jisung has to laugh at him. “I guess it just hasn’t sunk in yet. It feels unreal. It’s not like I really have anything fancy to show.”

“I think it suits you,” Mark says as he moves to sit on Donghyuck’s bed. “Subtle, yet useful. I mean, you never would have even known if it weren’t for Chenle. By the way, how did you figure it out? You said it happened at school?”

At that, Chenle goes a bit red. “Oh, yeah, about that. Um, I almost got into a fight and I was going to use my powers, but then Jisung grabbed me and I couldn’t.”

“A fight? Lele, you know better,” scolds Jaemin with a click of his tongue.

“Hey, at least Chenle didn’t actually fight them. Jisung, however…” Donghyuck trails off his sentence, shooting Jisung a grin that only says trouble.

“Jisung got into a fight? When? With who?”

Jisung wraps his arms around himself. “It was only a small one. I just, you know, broke his nose.”

“Jisung!”

“He learned that from Donghyuck,” Renjun stage-whispers to Jeno.

“To be fair,” Chenle says, loud enough to cut Jaemin’s oncoming lecture, “they were messing with him long before he broke their nose. And they deserved it. I’m proud of him.”

Jisung smiles at him. “Thanks.”

Kissing his cheek, Chenle whispers, “Anytime.”

When Jisung glances around the room, he’s met with a series of stunned faces. Jaemin’s expression is akin to a fish—his mouth opening and closing with no sound coming out.

“What is even happening anymore?” Jeno asks, rubbing at his eyes. “I feel like I’ve missed out on so much.”

“It’s kind of a long story,” Jisung tells them.

“We’re dating,” Chenle says.

“Okay, not that long of a story, apparently.”

From the bed, Mark snorts. “Also, not that shocking. And I’m apparently the oblivious one in the group.” He reaches out to grab the stuffed lion.

“Paws off,” Donghyuck says, snatching it out of Mark’s hands and hugging it to his chest with a frown.

“I got it for you,” argues Mark.

“Exactly,” he says. “For me. Not you. It’s mine now, so paws off.”

Jaemin, eyes still glued to Jisung, manages, “Might have been obvious, but I didn’t think he’d do anything about it.”

“Breathe, Nana,” Jeno says, coming up to wrap his arm around Jaemin’s shoulders with a faint, fond smile.

“He’s all grown up.”

“Good god,” whines Donghyuck. “Don’t cry.”

Jaemin wipes at his eyes. “I’m not crying.”

“Loser.”

“Soulless!” Jaemin yells.

Shaking his head, Donghyuck says, “I’m not soulless. I’m just not an emotional wreck.”

“No, you just suck at showing your emotions.”

“Okay,” Jeno says, “let’s not fight. This is a good moment. Jisung has a power _and_ a boyfriend. Congrats, Sungie.”

Jisung smiles. “Thanks.”

In all honesty, he’s expecting Jaemin to be all smiles again, but he’s not. In fact, his expression drops even more. His eyes are red, as if he’s on the verge of tears.

“What’s wrong?” Jisung asks.

“We won’t get to do the ceremony with you,” he mutters. “We can’t get at the treehouse anymore. How are we going to initiate you completely? We never thought it through, Duckie.”

Sighing, Donghyuck heads to his closet—setting the stuffed lion down on his desk on the way—and pulls open the door. He reaches in behind his shoe rack and when he straightens again there’s a long piece of wood in his hands. He spins it between his fingers.

“I always knew you were a sentimental bitch,” Jaemin states.

Donghyuck raises his brows. “Language, Nana. Kids are present.”

“As if you’ve ever cared about that.”

Jisung watches as Donghyuck sets the thin board on the bed. It looks as if Donghyuck took a saw to the top and bottom to free it from the treehouse wall. Jisung hadn’t been around when the tradition first started. Originally, it had been something between Mark and Donghyuck. Then, when they met everyone else, it became a group thing. When a power became present, they’d carve in their alias—a name chosen by whoever gave out the best one—and stamp their finger print beside it in blood. It’s an odd sort of idea, but it stuck.

Over the years of watching each one of his friends do it, Jisung had only dreamed of joining them. He never thought he actually would. Now, Donghyuck’s holding out a small, pocket knife he’s grabbed from his bedside table drawer and Jisung’s finally going to do it.

“You just need a name,” Jeno says, crawling up onto the bed to sit beside Mark. “Got anything in mind?”

“To be honest, I never thought I’d be doing this at all,” he admits.

Chenle squeezes his elbow. “You are now, though.”

“We were going to add you regardless,” says Jaemin. “Power or not, you were going on it. Donghyuck and I talked about it once. You’re one of us, no matter what.”

Jisung can’t stop the smile that grows on his face. “I’m okay with that.”

“Good. Okay, so name? Anyone?”

_Hypnos_

_Haechan_

_Vox_

_Fauna_

_Flora_

_Gummy Bear_

Those names stare back at him from the wood. He chuckles a bit. “I still can’t believe you went for Gummy Bear.”

“I like them,” Chenle says.

“And he looks like one,” adds Renjun. “Seems to fit.”

“It has absolutely nothing to do with his power,” Mark puts in.

Shrugging, Chenle says, “I still like it.”

“Guys, can we focus on Jisung?” Jaemin asks. “Nullification, right? Nully? Blank? Void?”

“Those are stupid,” says Donghyuck.

“Then, you come up with one.”

“Fine.” Donghyuck lifts his eyes to the ceiling in thought. Jisung can practically see the gears turning. Finally, he grins and sets his attention on Jisung. “Slate.”

Jisung tilts his head. “Slate?”

“Like a blank slate,” Donghyuck elaborates. “You wipe away people’s powers.”

“I like it,” Chenle says.

“So, do I,” agrees Jeno. “What do you think, Jisung?”

The idea of having an alias seems sort of silly at this age. It had mainly been because they often got up to trouble. Breaking and entering or trespassing was always something fun for them, and, if something were to happen and they needed to run, they used fake names to make sure the people after them had nothing to go off of except a glimpse of their faces.

Regardless, he’s always wanted one. Everyone else had one. For years, he’d just been ‘Sung’ whenever they went out. Now, he could have a real one. And, even if they weren’t planning on using it, it was like a final stamp of approval.

Sitting on the bed, Jisung places the piece of wood onto his lap and begins to carve. His friends gather around, peering over his shoulder as he works. When he reaches the final letter, he brushes away the excess wood and holds the whole thing out to look at.

_Hypnos_

_Haechan_

_Vox_

_Fauna_

_Flora_

_Gummy Bear_

_Slate_

Finally, he thinks.

“One last thing,” Donghyuck says, taking the knife from Jisung. “Hand.”

Jeno covers his eyes, groaning, “Urgh, I hate this part.”

Jisung’s not really a fan of it either. Still, he lets Donghyuck dig the knife into the bed of his thumb until a small bead of blood forms. He presses his fingerprint into the spot beside his name.

“There,” Mark says. “How do you feel?”

“It feels a bit surreal still,” he replies. “I guess it won’t settle in for a bit.”

Jaemin picks up the board. “Can we frame this?”

“No,” Renjun says. “Because anyone who comes into our apartment will think we’re part of an occult.”

“Aren’t we?” teases Donghyuck. He holds out his hand for the piece of wood, which Jaemin hands over. Carefully, he leans it up against the wall. “Anyway, hate to be rude, but you all need to go. I’m in the middle of work.”

“Wow, that _is_ rude,” Jeno says. “You’re kicking out your friends already?”

“If you don’t leave, you won’t be my friend at all.” Donghyuck points to the door. “Seriously, out. I have two hours before my test.”

“Oh, please. I doubt you’ll do horribly in it,” Jaemin says, even though he moves toward the door with everyone else. “Donghyuck, the secret genius. Remember when you used to fail tests to make Mark think he was smarter?”

Mark squawks. “You used to what?”

Jisung finds it very fascinating how red Donghyuck goes even with his golden skin complexion. “Jaemin, out!” He starts shoving at their shoulders to herd them back to the front door.

“What? I thought you told him!”

“You used to fail tests?” Mark questions. “Wait, when? Why?”

Donghyuck opens the door and gestures for them all to leave. “Good bye. Hope to see you never.”

“You love us,” Jeno says, stepping out into the hall.

“I’d love you more if you left me alone,” he grumbles, cheeks still flaming.

Mark is the last one out the door. He stops at the threshold and points at Donghyuck. “Don’t think we aren’t going to talk about that.”

Batting away his finger, Donghyuck says, “Have no idea what you’re talking about, Canada. Bye, now!”

Jisung laughs when Donghyuck slams the door closed on them all. He can’t help it. God, he’s missed his friends and their chaotic ways so much that it feels elating to just be near them. 

Thumb still stinging, he takes Chenle’s hand in his and the two of them follow the rest of the group toward the lobby. Renjun splits off fast for class, but Jaemin, Jeno, and Mark hover as Jisung explains what happened between him and his so-called bullies.

“They _are_ bullies, Jisung,” Chenle insists. “Call them what they are.”

They don’t say much as he explains, all the way up to Chenle getting his own week of detention. It isn’t until the end that Jeno is running a hand through his hair and Jaemin looks like he’s ready to burn the whole school down.

“I can’t believe you never told us,” Jaemin says. “Did you learn nothing from Jeno?”

Jeno blinks. “Hey!”

“I didn’t think it was that bad, honestly. I just thought I could make it through this year and the next and that would be it. It would be over and I’d never have to look back,” Jisung says. “Besides, you guys have been so busy with your own things that it didn’t seem right to bug you about high school again.”

“Jisung, that’s what we’re here for. We’re here to help you whenever you need it,” Jaemin tells him.

Mark purses his lips. “I’m going to strangle Donghyuck for giving you his kit.”

“I’m kind of glad he did,” Jisung says. “Without it, I don’t think things would have turned out the way they did. I needed a moment to sort of let loose and do something crazy. I think he knew that. Don’t be mad at him.”

“I’m not mad, I just…” Mark pauses. “You know how I am with that kind of thing.”

He does know. Mark’s always been the more apprehensive one of the group whenever they did something a little crazy. The silent, worrisome leader, Jisung would call him.

“Well, at least we’re here now. Jisung’s done pretty well for himself, I think,” says Jeno, winking at Jisung.

“I think so, too,” Chenle agrees, saddling up to Jisung’s side.

“Okay, but before we get all happy, we do need to talk,” Jaemin says. He gestures between Chenle and Jisung. “Like, a serious talk about this. I’m fully supportive, but there’s a lot to touch on. Now, I know Jisung’s not really into it, but if suddenly you _do_ decide to move your relationship to the next level, you have to be safe and—”

Jeno clamps a hand over Jaemin’s mouth. “And that’s where I’m going to stop you, babe. We’re going to go now. See you all later.”

“Why? No, I’m not done, Jeno. Hey! Put me down!”

Jaemin continues to yell as Jeno bends down to throw him over his shoulder and head toward the elevator. He manages to give them a salute before stepping inside with a wiggling, screaming Jaemin.

“Sometimes, I wish for normal friends,” Mark says, almost wistfully. “Then I remember I’m not that lucky.”

“We love you, anyway,” Chenle says and Mark chuckles.

“I should probably go, too. And you both need to get back to school. No more skipping, got it?”

Jisung nods. “Got it.”

They part ways from there. Much to Chenle’s annoyance, they do go back to school for the rest of the day. Jisung has a lot of explaining to do with Monday and Chenle still has to clean up the hallway. Even still, Jisung doesn’t think there was a time he was a hundred percent happy to be at school. There was always a niggling feeling that he would have to deal with people who hated him, hated who his family was or who he’d become.

Now, it’s something different. Something so much brighter.

He’s got a power.

Jisung smiles to himself. It’s a weird thought and still doesn’t feel quite real, but it’s true. He does. And he can’t wait to see what he can do with it.

*

When Jisung gets home, the first thing he does is search for his mom and grandmother. He can’t wait to see the look on their faces when he tells them they’ll have to register him as a power user. He’s hoping they’ll be thrilled.

“Mom?” he calls, kicking off his shoes and heading deeper into the house.

“In the kitchen!”

Like usual, his mother is hovering by the island and his grandmother is at the table. His mom puts her pen down as soon as she sees him and runs over to hug him.

“I’m so happy you’re home,” she says. “I’ve got news. Good news!”

Jisung smiles because her happiness is infectious. “So, do I.”

Stepping back, his mom says, “Do you? You go first then.”

“No, it’s okay,” he tells her, moving toward the table. “You go first. What’s got you all excited?”

It’s a complete one-eighty from how she was before. Desperate for a job, tired and upset. Jisung rather likes his mom to be happy and full of energy. That’s who she is.

She’s practically bouncing as she goes back to the island and holds up, what looks to be, a key card. “You remember that phone call I got this morning? It was an offer. A job offer, Jisung. Guess who’s the newest secretary of Z’s Toys Inc.?” Jisung gapes. “With yearly bonuses and raises, the best benefits I’ve ever seen, fantastic salary, and room to climb the ladder. Honey, we’re set. We don’t need to go anywhere.”

“Wait,” he says, a little stunned, “what?”

She puts the key card down. “They called this morning, saying they’d heard about me through some other applications I sent out. I guess companies around here really do keep close contact, huh? And said that my experience was perfect for the job. I went in for an interview after you left for school and they hired me on the spot. I just…I’m so happy. This is one of the best opportunities I’ve ever had. What do you think?”

Jisung isn’t sure what to think. He’s so startled, yet so happy, that he’s speechless. All he can do is smile and laugh because, thank god, _thank god_. This is exactly what she needed. This is everything she could have wished for, something she deemed improbable to have as a Negate.

“I’m so happy for you,” he says into the top of her head as he hugs her again. “You deserve this.”

She beams up at him. “I’m glad you think so. It’s almost like a miracle, isn’t it? Urgh, I’m just so excited to start! I have to go for training tomorrow and then I’ll be working a few odd shifts to meet up with all the right people, but then it’ll be a normal nine to five.”

“It kind of is a miracle,” he agrees.

“Didn’t you have some news, too?” asks his grandma.

He nods. “Um, yeah, actually. Today, I got my ability.”

Silence follows. They look as stunned as he felt a few moments ago. They both blink, the words slowly sinking in until his mother screams. It’s all thrill and excitement and so freaking loud. He finds himself in another hug.

“Oh, my goodness,” she says, pulling back to look at him. “What is it? What happened? How did you find out? Oh, tell us everything!”

Well, he definitely wouldn’t be telling her everything, but he does tell her a more abbreviated version. They hang onto his every word as he recounts how his powers stopped both of Chenle’s and Donghyuck’s, how he’ll have to be registered now—something both of them positively grin at because, despite it just being a little piece of paper, the prospect of it is still exhilarating—and how he’s excited to see what he can do with it.

“I can’t turn it off, I think,” he explains. “And I don’t really feel much when I use it. But I’ll find out more as I use it. I’m kind of interested to see if Taeyong and Jaehyun will be able to read me or if there’s limitation to it.”

His mother takes his hands in hers. “I’m so happy for you. I know this is the one thing you really wanted and I know how hard the idea of being a Negate was for you.”

“I never want you to think that I believe Negates are bad,” he says, slowly. “It was never that. It was just…I saw how much you struggled, how much you _all_ struggled, and I wasn’t sure I could be strong enough to deal with all that like you guys have. The idea of being a power user just seemed to make everything easier.”

“We understand,” says his grandmother. “We could never fault you for thinking that way. I’m proud of you, Jisung. I have great faith that, even if you didn’t get a power, you would have carried yourself with honor and dignity and taken the world by storm.”

He smiles. “I would have tried. For you two.”

“We know. We’ve always believed in you.”

And, in that moment, Jisung feels more at ease than he ever has. Holding his mom’s hands, sitting next to his grandmother, Jisung feels whole. Happy. And that’s something he knows he shouldn’t take for granted.

*

Chenle has an indoor basketball court. He also has an outdoor one, but on rainy days such as this one, he sticks to inside the walls of his mansion. Jisung really shouldn’t be envious at this point in his relationship with Chenle. He’s always known how rich his boyfriend—wow, that’s weird—is, but still. He has an indoor _and_ outdoor court. It seems a little excessive.

Jisung leans against the doorframe, waiting for Chenle to notice him. When he doesn’t after a few minutes, Jisung steps inside and claps as Chenle manages to make a shot into the basket. Chenle jumps at the noise.

“Hey,” he greets, running up to grab the bouncing ball. The orange matches his hair, Jisung notes. “What are you doing here?”

“Well, I actually wanted to say thank you,” Jisung says as he moves to sit on one of the benches along the side of the room. Chenle joins him. “For a few things.”

Brushing his sweaty hair from his forehead, Chenle asks, “Like what? What did I do?”

Trying to focus on what he planned to say and now how good Chenle looks, all flushed and bright, he says, “For sticking with me, for one. Even though I avoided you like the plague that one time and you had to hunt me down.”

Chenle laughs. “Hunting you down was the easy part. I just figured you needed time. Then, I got impatient.”

“Sounds fair.”

“Totally was. Is that it?”

Shaking his head, he says, “No. Um, I also want to thank you for breaking into the pool with me, even though you were against it. For talking me out of thinking poorly of myself and my situation. For making me feel loved. For agreeing to become my boyfriend, despite my short-comings.”

“You have no short-comings,” Chenle interrupts. “There are none. None at all.”

“Fine,” he says, rolling his eyes. “I also want to thank you for giving my mom a job.”

Chenle blinks. “Oh.”

“Oh,” he parrots, his lips twitching. “Honestly, I probably wouldn’t have noticed if she hadn’t said the company’s name and said that they called _her_ for an interview when she didn’t even apply.”

Spinning the ball in his hands, Chenle watches it go round and round. “Are you mad?”

“Mad?” He reaches out to take the ball away. Chenle lets him, easily, and Jisung puts it down at their feet so he can take Chenle’s hands. “No, I’m not mad at all. You gave my mom an opportunity she’s only ever dreamed about. This is amazing. I just wish you had told me you were going to do it. Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I wasn’t sure you’d want me to stick my nose in it,” he explains. “I just figured that maybe it wouldn’t be a bad thing to try. There was an opening and it was sure chance that it was something your mom had skills in. I talked to my dad and he made some calls. I just wanted to help somehow. You were so sad about it.”

Jisung wraps his arms around Chenle. “Thank you. Thank you. What would I do without you?”

“Who the heck knows,” Chenle laughs, his body shaking in Jisung’s arms. “Fail miserably? I’m really glad you’re not mad, though. I was sort of worried.”

“Well, don’t be. I’m happy. Happier than I ever thought possible.” Leaning back, he adds, “Sometimes I think I don’t deserve you.”

Chenle scoffs. “Please, you do just as much for me as I do for you. Trust me, you’ve helped me more than enough in the past, and you make me incredibly happy now. That’s all I’ve ever wanted.”

It’s sort of an in-the-moment thing, Jisung thinks, as he takes Chenle’s face in his hands and kisses him, just briefly, on the lips. It’s barely a touch. It still doesn’t feel like much for him. The idea of kissing still feels weird and he doesn’t think that’ll ever go away. But Chenle looks at him with so much love in his eyes that it feels like he’s just handed him the moon.

“What?”

Jisung smiles. “Sorry. I just wanted to give you something. And, don’t worry, I wanted to do it. I’m sorry it’s not much.”

“Don’t,” Chenle says, reaching up to cover Jisung’s hands with his own. “Don’t. It’s more than enough. I really do love you, Jisung. I don’t think you could make me any happier.”

“Let’s just hope this isn’t the peak of our relationship,” he jokes, laughing when Chenle pinches him in the side. “Love you, too, Lele.”

He can’t help but hug Chenle again, shifting him as close as he possibly can. It’s hard when he thinks back to how the year started, with him questioning everything in his life. From this second in time, it feels like a far away dream. He’s not even sure he can remember the right emotions, how they truly felt, when he thought about loving Chenle from afar or how he thought he’d never get a power no matter how hard he wished for it.

Now, it’s totally different. And, he thinks, he doesn’t want to remember what it had been like. That part of his life isn’t important anymore. What is, is right now, holding Chenle, a fresh new ability aching to be practiced, and his mom, happy with a new future ahead.

Yeah, this—this is so much more than he ever could have hoped and he doesn’t want to forget that. He doesn’t want to forget how lucky he is to get these things in his life. He just wants to covet them, protect them, and use them to remind himself whenever things may go sour again.

Because this is something amazing. And he wouldn’t change it for the world.

*Feel Free to come talk to me on [CuriousCat](https://curiouscat.me/DiamantNoir)*

**Author's Note:**

> Taeil – Intangibiliy – Ability to pass through physical matter  
> Johnny - Enhanced strength  
> Taeyong - Telepathy - Ability to read minds  
> Yuta – Materialization – Ability to create objects from nothing  
> Kun - Healing - Ability to heal most--if not all--injuries  
> Doyoung - Mesmerism - Ability to mesmerize people into doing what he says  
> Ten – Necromancy – Ability to see and communicate with the dead  
> Jaehyun – Empathy – Ability to read emotions  
> Sicheng – Illusions – Ability to alter or deceive the perception of reality  
> Jungwoo - Hydrokinesis - Ability to control water  
> Lucas - Teleportation - Ability to travel by folding space  
> Mark - Dream Jumping - Ability to jump into others' dreams  
> Dejun - Invisibility - Ability to become invisible to the naked eye/as well as giving him the ability to see  
> Hendery - Photokinesis - Ability to control light  
> Renjun - Omnilingualism - Ability to learn, speak, and understand all languages  
> Jeno - Zoolingualism - Ability to speak to and understand animals  
> Donghyuck - Pyrokinesis - Ability to control fire  
> Jaemin - Chlorokinesis - Ability to control plants/nature  
> YangYang - Enhanced Speed  
> Chenle – Sonokinesis – Ability to control sound  
> Jisung - Nullification - Ability to cancel out another person's ability
> 
> Series (Publication Order):  
> I Want You More Than I Want Superpowers  
> Live Young, Die Free  
> The Way You Want Me  
> Silhouettes Dancing  
> You Found Me  
> Anything but Ordinary
> 
> Series (Chronological Order):  
> Live Young, Die Free  
> The Way You Want Me  
> I Want You More Than I Want Superpowers  
> You Found Me  
> Silhouettes Dancing  
> Anything but Ordinary 
> 
> Just one more left!


End file.
